It is March and the temperature has already hit the 70s in Florida. Summer will be here before long. I hate the summer - too many memories. The sexual abuse started during the summer when I was 10. The emotional, verbal and physical abuse from my step-father had been going on for a while. That summer on the farm, my step-father had hired some local teens to help clear some land. I was a an easy mark - lonely, shy, desperate for attention. He was an older teen -so cool and suave - or so it seemed. I wonder when he decided to take advantage of me? It began as a tease. He offered me candy and talked about a secret club and secret games. I wanted to be in a club and to have friends! We were sent to the woods to take care of a pile of debris. That is where it started. He told me I had to suck him to join the club. Well, I didn't know any better and it didn't seem too alarming. His was much bigger than mine so I imagine I was a little fascinated. We took turns - two minutes each of sucking. I can't honestly remember if I even could get hard or enjoyed it. I don't remember being all that impressed by the sensation. But Jerry really enjoyed it. The games continued unitl I got consistent and goodenough to get him off. He squirt on me which took me aback. It smelled awful and he got it all over my shirt. I was very embarrassed. I can can still smell the mixture of sweat, saliva, sperm and genitals - the memory hits me every summer. The games continued through the summer until we got caught by another teen who preoceeded to shame me and call me a fag - honestly, a 10 year old fag. I hate the summer. Every since that summer my life has been shit. It would have been bad enough with the verbal and physical abuse and an emotionally unavailable mother but he had to destroy my sexuality. I hate the summer