Dear Brothers,

Im not sure I can do this, but im going to try.
I abusers name was Ronnie Thompson. This was almost 40 years ago. I was 13 almost 14 and I am not sure if i did somthing to make it happen. I was a normal health boy. My family was very loveing and caring. I have never told my Father what happen to me, it would only hurt him now he is 80. My abuser was a close Friend of the family. We lived in Califorina, it was summer and I was ask if i wanted to go fishing and like a kid i jumped at the chance to go. We went out and had a good time fishing. Ronnies wife was with us and she wanted to go home. So we headed back in let her off. I bagged to go back out and he said sure. When we got out he said lets go swiming he striped down naked and jumped in. I was shy and he talked me into doing the same. It was so nice in the water i cooled off. When we got back on the boat he started to touch me. At first I was scared and pulled away he did it again and it felt good to have all the attition. and it felt good to have someone touch me. When he was done we went back in. He said if I told anyone that he would tell them I was queer. I was scared. Then the guilt and shame set in. After that he would take me places and buy me things and molest me and i was scared to tell anyone. I could not even tell my best friend.

So many times I have wanted to Cry but cant. I feel like someway it was my fault. I caused him to do those things to me.

The suport in here is great. I have had so many reasons to cry (Mother past) Cancer and the loss of my Voice Box and voical cords. Having to retire at the age of 50. And all the Blessings in my life also but i cant cry. I guess in mayt need to get good and drunk. Would only take one beer. Why do I fear crying Im not the Men Dont cry type. Crying is good for the Soul. When this man did what he did a peace of me is just not there.

I started to Baby Set for a Man down the street from our house. I cant remember his name. He went out one night and i fell asleep and when I woke up he was doing oral on me. I layed there and did not know what to do so I just let him do it. But he started using me more and I was spending a lot of time at his house drinking beerand smoking My mother caught me drinking and would not let me go back to his house. I was 15.

I guess im rambling again sorry. Guy you sent me a very nice E=Mail and it realy ment a lot to me .
Pleas E Mail me at and that goes for the rest of you guys also if you would like to E Mail me please.

Jer 7:23 ps 91:16