I only had one incidence of sexual abuse in
my life, but it was a doozy.

It happened at such an early age it wasn't
even a memory as such, more like an
indelible picture in my mind which comprised
my idea of what sex was all about
throughout my childhood and much of my
adolescence, and has continued to affect my
sexuality and relationships with women right
up to the present day. It took 45 years for me to figure out where this picture came from.

The picture was of being tied down naked to a table, with a white sheet covering my body, with my penis threaded through a hole in the sheet. A stranger in a white coat came in and began to fondle me.

That's it, there's nothing more that I "remember". Needless to say, it had a profound impact on my ideas about sex.

Imagine my surprise to find out I wasn't alone in this experience. I've since done quite a bit of research into the whole bizzare scene, which is summarized in an
extensively referenced paper I wrote which I've placed online at: