Well... my story isnt as bad as some of yall. I grew up pretty normal. At the age of 3 my Dad died and my Mom remarried when I was 5. He was nice enough at first. I dont know what I did to make him think I liked him... in that way. I was just a kid. He came into my room and told me he knew the way I was looking at him and he wanted it to. I didnt know what he was talking about. He told me that we were going to play a game... he told me to take my pants off. I didnt want to but he said if I didnt play he was going to tell my Mom that I was bad. He touched me... down there. It just got worse... when I didnt tell anyone. He kept "playing" that game for awhile. Then he said I was so good at it he wanted to play a different one. That was when I was about 8. He told me to hold him in my mouth. I said that was gross... so he did it first to me. So that went on for a few months. He kept wanting me to do more and he kept doing more to me. He said that I was so very good at "the game" He always asked me and told me how good I was... he never forced me... so I sometimes think I must have wanted it. He wanted me to take all my clothes off and bend over face down on the bed. He did that just himself until I was 12... he had friends come over after that. They all wanted to "play the game" Typing this all down is really hard... bringing flashbacks... crying hard now. Trying not to feel it again. Always was told crying is for the weak. When I cried I was bad. They took pictures of me naked sitting on the bed when i was 12.... him and his friends wouldnt stop i wanted them to but i never said no i couldnt say no they kept on doing it til i was 17 i ran away from it it was hard but i ran away frmo it all i wanted to die i wanted to be alone and die but i was to weak to end it all i just couldnt do it i tried and got as far as i could but then i couldnt i jsut cut now cutting lets out all the pain and it punishs me have to be punished and have to let the pains out all confusing cant type anymore have to go sorry for bothering you