So here's another of my attempts at it:

A man brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary
surgeon. As he lay his pet on the table, the vet
pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Polly has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room, returning a few moments later with a beautiful black Labrador.

As the bird's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the dead parrot from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes, shook his head, whined, and turned slowly away from the table.

The vet took the dog out, but returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back, shook its head, meowed and ran out of the room.

The vet looked at the man and said, "I'm sorry, but like I said, your parrot is most definitely 100% certifiably dead."

He then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the man.

The parrot's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" he cried, "$150 just to tell me my bird is dead!!"

The vet shrugged. "If you'd taken my word for it the bill would only have been $20, but what with the Lab report and the cat scan......"

Just a little something I like to laugh at when I think of my accumulating medical bills, and the way some doctors (none I have now, thank God!) have treated me. Something to remind me how good it is to be neither dead, nor in a coma, but alive!

This parrot's doing ok!


"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck