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#73943 - 08/06/01 02:19 AM Just saw "Memento"
Just Call me J Offline

Registered: 07/14/01
Posts: 204
Loc: Inland Empire, California
The setup for the movie is that the main character has "this condition" called anterograde amnesia: he knows who he is and all that, but ever since an accident, he can't form any new memories.

He is constantly explaining to people that he's met repeatedly about his condition, and asking them the same old questions. He is also trying to find his wife's murderer.

The whole movie just leaves you off-kilter, as it probes through all these questions, but in the opposite way that we're used to seeing in a murder mystery.

It's got me thinking about my brief memory flash of abuse; the one that I had 4 weeks ago tomorrow. It's fading with time, and I haven't been able to have any followup appointments with my therapist. I guess I feel a bit like "Lenny" because I know my purpose, but I'm lost on the particulars. Maybe I need to write more notes to myself; it's too bad I can't Poloroid my memory, so I can refer back to it.

Most of the stories I read here, and that I have been reading in "Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse" by Mic Hunter start out with statements like "when I was (insert age here) I was sexually abused by (insert sick fuck here) while I was living (insert location here).

I don't know any of that. I have a vague idea of when (around 3 years old), but that's about it. I don't have anyone to direct my hurt and anger toward. It seems like if I just had a target, then things would be better; at least I could find another step to move onto. Lacking that info, I'm lost.

I feel like I want to induce some of those memories to come back, just so I have SOMETHING substantial to deal with. But my support system is out tonight. And I can't seem to get a followup with my therapist. It doesn't seem wise to walk into blind alleys without backup.

And yet the uncertainty is eating me up.


We're in this together. - Nine Inch Nails

#73944 - 12/19/01 10:27 AM Re: Just saw "Memento"
contender Offline

Registered: 12/17/01
Posts: 58
Loc: New York
My take on the movie Memento is that is it very similiar to sexual abuse, that is, he is always trying to find out what happened by asking people what happened, the same people to abused him or took part in the abuse in some way (family), and his memory is messed up from the abuse. Notice how trusting he is of everyone, he is very childlike and trusting. He has tatoos all over his body similar to a person who abuses himself. He has only short term memory so he is cut off from his past (of sexual abuse) and he focuses his attention on who murdered his wife when he really wants to know who murdered him.

Since you had such a strong reaction to the movie why not rent it out and play over a few times and that will help you remember what happened when you were three, make believe Lenny is YOU.

#73945 - 12/24/01 03:33 PM Re: Just saw "Memento"
michael Joseph Offline

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
I have a two week period of time spent with my grandparents that I do dot remeber, and they molested my mom when she was little.

I have been wanting these memories back so I can deal with them. But they cannot be forced. In my case others have gotten to me so I do know the the rest of the abusers.

Work on what you have, and your body will let you have the memories when you are ready.

You can still get mad with out knowing who did it.

Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat


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