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#73344 - 06/11/05 08:22 PM Re: Paint-By-Numbers (Triggers)
RockyMtJoe Offline

Registered: 08/11/04
Posts: 97
Loc: East of Pueblo, Colorado
Greeting Jasper

When I was in a VA PTSD group like I was gonna say
"Sarge molested me"?

I forgot what I was going to copy from my writings but it was probably about the extreme insensitivity of abusers to basic human rights. Any seduction of a young man, teen or boy is
the sign of serious sociopath behavior, as the “moral moron” comes on fast and deceptively. I recall the evil in their eyes and in their language and gestures.

Sexual discovery is a train wreck for abused boys. The process is damaged and getting it back on track is not guaranteed.

Sexual discovery is hard enough on even those not abused.

When does playing around turn into abuse? Simple it is the age differences but sometimes a stronger boy will take advantage.

I had a beyond dysfunctional family.

I wonder why more here are not homophobic? I am certainly such with a wide range of gay men. I thought the Village People were squads, from hell, come to send guys like me into bondage. :rolleyes:

Basically I know about “teen boys” the entire “dirty” little things as boys do growing up. I know that gay teens are still harassed and sometimes worse. I know that some of those teens who bothered me were just molesters in training. I suspect that there is overlap from what kids do with each other from spin-the-bottle to “I’ll show you mine , if you show me yours”?

So here is where I have to get a bit specific as to sexual behaviors. Where does a serial molester learn his skills? I believe that many are bisexual as that Irish priest who was on the Today Show a few weeks ago. He while in America went after both girls and boys. The kind of married gay that pays a hustler in his car is seldom a molester as I read. Saw the post that he is often a married guy. A serial pervert could not last a week in any cruising spot as I experienced in the sixties, as he would be found out in days.

The “six pack” for older teens and such is the same as the attention and gifts from a predator that goes after younger teens.
Methodical and calculating on how boys react.

Everything that an older man did to me has basically remained a problem area or a trigger. Some items from the “book of love” never made it into my volume.

There was something hollow in their eyes and phony in the voice. Were gay men this way? I long ago forgot my fist abusers name as if he had one but recall it was “daddy” or some crap, it was as I have said a no physical pain situation. But I was too young and now too old to recall the details I wish I knew. Suspect I have a special place in my heart for the guys here who feel “less” as they were only fondled. For whatever reason, location, being discovered, or luck their abuser had to delay his sole intention of a sexual conquest. Being first taken at pre-puberty helps me identify with these guys.

Perhaps you brother was also tormenting little fairies like me?

Again, most of my teen contact was neither abusive or anything but a gay teen looking.

So, nothing new from me. Have to think about what value my varied journal stuff has. As you know it is just full of recollections of 1963-75 or so. Being gay in that era. I recall reading a few books about being gay as early as say 1973. I do not recall reading any “warnings” about sexual predators.

Like we would have read that chapter anyway?

There are archives of “gay stories” out there and most are written as to be erotic. Abuse themes are everywhere. I never located a good place for my writings. Then again, what kind of audience would I find for “I was a teenage fairy”. So as I hum “Strangers In the Night”…..

PS \:D

Knowing what we do about little boys playing it is no wonder I preferred to play dress up with the girls, sure they would ocassionally mess with me
but there was no threat or fear.

#73348 - 06/13/05 02:33 AM Re: Paint-By-Numbers (Triggers)
RockyMtJoe Offline

Registered: 08/11/04
Posts: 97
Loc: East of Pueblo, Colorado

Seems to look as if the sun came up today!

I would have posted but was sleep deprived last evening and night; no not PTSD or such some livestock got loose.

Who knows about such as you post sometimes
makes me glad I had really no family, dysfunctional but not as most: father absent
as in not at home most all years, mother worked,
raised by the maids.

As i noted in the PM, you will be up at nights if
you raise chickens and there are cats or foxes within twenty miles

Use a good chainlink fence and do concrete the
fence base! The farm next to mine is a free range chicken ranch and attracts coyotes, thus my having a Hungarian Kuvasz one of the few dogs that can eat a coyote, even scare a mountain lion or
bear (yes, no bs we them all here) I suspect you would be a up-all-night type if you lived here
;\) then again the rattlers are a hassle all summer, and in the winter the Yeti comes down
at night....

PM if you have any chicken questions

#73349 - 06/24/05 09:21 AM Re: Paint-By-Numbers (Triggers)
cat4527 Offline

Registered: 06/16/05
Posts: 51
Loc: Annandale, VA.
I remember the paint by numbers. That was one of my escapes cuz I could do that anywhere. I used to sit in the middle of Battle Abbey doing them. My other "great" escape was reading science fiction. I also would leave this world and find another.


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