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#73334 - 06/09/05 09:22 PM Re: Married Men Are Dogs--Okay, Not Really But....
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Jasper I have been married to the same wonderful woman for 38 years. I was abused at 16( see my story) and spent 18-21 as a male prostitute catering to the needs of particularly violent so called straight men. I have not got a clue what drives them. It may be that they are so unsecure of themselves as men that they need to have some outlet for their fears. By using gay men or male prostitutes they are generally somewhat less than kind and I think it reflects their need to show that they are indeed men. Hey I could be totally out to lunch on this but that is how I feel about it.

I have many gay friends and to my knowledge I was only hired by one gay man as a prostitute. I dont know whether interraction between gay and straight males is flirting or ackknowledging that someone is attractive in some way.

I think that gay men are probably more in touch with their emotions and are less likely to be assholes in society. It could be because of the stereotype of the straight Male which is totally screwed up. The homophobia that exists in some areas are due I think to the fact that many may harbour sexual attraction to the same sex and mask it in this way. I also think that homophobia is like a lot of other things, one of which is fear of the unknown. I mean if mankind found a dinorsaur it would probably kill it to see what made it live. And if Christ came back we would probably kill him all over again because he would be seen as a threat.

Now back to me. If Nicole had not come into my life when she did I would not be alive today. If it had been a Nicholas I think I would feel the same way.



#73336 - 06/10/05 12:20 AM Re: Married Men Are Dogs--Okay, Not Really But....
RockyMtJoe Offline

Registered: 08/11/04
Posts: 97
Loc: East of Pueblo, Colorado

You macho dude bet you look fine in your Harley vest and leather chaffs! ;\)


Hello Mister J and Mister Church

I do not think I qualify as I “retired” from normal gay sex (say what?) Those that do not know was due 100% to CSA gave up on sexual activity
due to there being to many “triggers. That is my list of “will not do’s”exceeded any chance of male romance. I’ll explain later down.

As J. you are old enough to recall the very late 60’s gay scene, I’ll assume that if you did not experience it you know many guys that are now 60 plus. I am not that aware of what Mike went through as I did not hustle, however I knew guys who did. I was not versatile enough. Also I was to young to get near the bars and wanted nothing to with trade, older men, etc.

That it still goes on boggles my mind. Prior to say 1969 or so married men were at most gay pick up places. It was that 1950’s to early sixties era and there was a movie last fall with Dennis Quaid playing a married gay man in 1955. If this crap still goes on I suspect that the married men are such as from very “Christian” or small town America where gay is not an option.

So there is a tradition among gay men to “flirt” with married men (?) as sometimes they can “score”, fine with me. But I think “cheating” sucks in any relationship.Important I am not talking 1950’s-60’s married gays. Being gay in 1960 was as I remind or tell all: was dismal. It was a crime and people got arrested for gay stuff.

But I believed that the married gay syndrome stopped back about 1975 when it was “OK” to be gay.

Prior to the gay lib movement there was no place for a gay teen to meet anyone except at: parks, tearooms, YMCA, beaches, restrooms (ugh). The few married guys I met were not perverts. I think some is regional, I was in New England. Was not old enough to hit any mafia bars in Bean town or NYC. But cruising was slow.

Beaches were best in summer, lots of vacationing folks, teens and married guys.
I’ll pm a short story of that time per any request. I wondered why the married guys wanted to “tip” me now I know. Maybe more were married not as if we had long discussions about anything. It was the straight teen or young guy that gave me the grief, perhaps these jerks also visited gay pros? When I hit Coloradoin the army I never went back.

You met a real sicko, perverted married pig. His “wife” was his cover and he was not
the typical married gay I met. Most were like me lonely, scared of the cops, and a bit

I never met any married guys in Colorado but I was only looking for same age or such, thin, slightly effeminate and such. “Real men” terrify. The
"dance bars" did not attrach the married jerks you experienced.

Now on to me: After getting molested 1958-9, I was a “normal” gay teen in that era.Trouble was that I was so traumatized by my run in with older men that I failed to develope the skills and awareness of my sexuality. I was just a passive slim pretty boy and doomed. I never was able to get into a LTR with anyone. Who’d want a gay BF that would not: kiss deeply, cuddle much and basically other than my oral skills (that is a bit “R” rated) I was useless. Half the time I had “ED” (like that new term).

I still fear men so I do not think I am going to return to what I was. As to getting married, it works for us. She may sometimes doubt that I am or was gay but she always knew. Sex was never her favorite thing as she was also from the 50’s and girls did not do many things. We are a matched set. After I had years of therapy (it worked) I am able to cuddle and such. Not
“cured” but comfortable.. Sure, I have a fantasy life but it also is a bit dysfunctional. Lets say if I was ship wrecked on a tropical island I’d want to be on the beach with the cabin boy! But only if my lady was eaten by sharks.

RM Joe


Getting pounded by a straight teen was not SA to me.It was expected. I got tougher. It was abuse but just to show how manly they were..

#73338 - 06/10/05 04:45 PM Re: Married Men Are Dogs--Okay, Not Really But....
sophiesdad Offline

Registered: 04/30/05
Posts: 462
Loc: Florida

There are no unresolved issues - they just didn't resolve themselves the way we would have liked. "Grinder and Bandler - Neuro-Linguistic Programming"


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