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#73107 - 02/23/05 03:50 PM Re: question for you
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
Hmmm...an interesting statement, and a lot of interesting responses.

This is a funny thing. I live in Massachusetts and you'd THINK that it'd be easy to be gay and meet people outside the context of "the bars" - we're more liberal than Soviet Russia and we legalized same sex marriage for God's sake - but it isn't. Dare to be open in a social situation and there's always a chance for at the very LEAST "the look of disdain." At the worst, you're a target of a bashing.

You see, I'm still fighting the whole sexuality argument - attracted to guys, attracted to women, wanting to be in a deep emotional/sexual relationship with SOMEBODY - but the only way I've met guys is through the internet and than it's only sex. Sometimes, even, the experience has ended rather badly.

The only way I can be sure guys are "gay" or "looking" are at the bars. And there's only two I've liked that aren't the "leather/clubbing scene." Even there, it's just looking to "score," which is what the bar scene in general is about. What to do?

I don't know. I don't want to just cruise for sex. Been there, done that. Maybe someday I'll be in the place where I can be confident enough to be open when in a situation I like socially.

You're not alone in this, guys.

Peace and love,

Scot

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#73108 - 02/23/05 03:56 PM Re: question for you
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
yeah - the whole scene is tough -
i started to join a group called
'Frontrunners" = a hiking walking or running club - then they all go out to dinner afterwards -
we meet tomorrow night - i am really excited for my first meeting with them - i hear this is a good way to meet folks -
then i think i may joing a lecture club - that i read about down here -

some people have said - once i determined to just be married to my job then a man came out of the wood works and we've been together ever since -

that didn't work for me -

but hopefully the activities/club thing will -

anyway - ttyl

mark

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#73109 - 02/23/05 04:03 PM Re: question for you
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Now Mark that is the right approch. You will meet some very good people. To me a bar, besides selling booze, is a place to obtain an sex partner, gay straight or in between. Thing is that is not relationship building.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#73110 - 02/23/05 04:42 PM Re: question for you
chuck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 97
Loc: mid atlantic
Mark,

I like you have been searching and wondering what is the best way to meet decent gay men. I called the national gay and lesbian hotline and they suggested getting involved the the local chapter and joining some of the clubs. Another way that was suggested was to post or search the posts on http://www.yahoo.com or http://www.planetout.com. I utilize all 3 and have met some good men. I still have not that 1 person who is special to me, but made some good friends who I can email or call.

This is just a suggestion and hope all goes well and you can make some good relationships.

Chuck


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#73111 - 02/23/05 04:52 PM Re: question for you
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
thanks chuck

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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