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#73070 - 01/11/05 02:31 AM Finding a counselor
Branson Offline

Registered: 12/20/04
Posts: 37
Loc: Seal Beach
My partner has convinced me that seeing a counselor myself is important. He started seeing one alone last week, outside of our couples counseling.

I read the article about finding a therapist. And I checked with our GLBT center here in Orange County (which is where we have our counseling together) if they had anyone who could help in this area. Because I don't want to have to go through a procedure of finding one outside, one who is gay or gay-friendly AND works with abuse survivors. They don't have one.

Any ideas on this? Ian was able to get one through the Center because it is not for exactly the same thing.




Can I trade this life for what's behind door number 2?

#73071 - 01/11/05 03:51 AM Re: Finding a counselor
dwf Offline
Moderator/BoD Emeritus

Registered: 05/24/03
Posts: 1223
Loc: Austin, Texas USA
Hi Branson,

Congratulations on doing the foot-work in your search for help with the issues associated with sexual abuse.

As for your dilemna, I can only share my experience, which seems somewhat similar to what you have found so far.

From my perspective, I took the advice about finding a therapist who specifically was experienced in sexual abuse survivors.....and then added the words..."if possible." That is a therapist with experience would be the ideal but if that was not available to me, which is wasn't, then do the next right thing.

For me that meant going through the GLBT counseling center and finding a gay male counselor with some small experience in working with survivors of sexual abuse, who was also willing to learn and progress along with me as we worked together.

I knew this guy already from being in a gay mens therapy group with him as the facilitator and felt comfortable with him. He read and studied and consulted his supervising therapist and together we have made great strides.

I am still seeing him, now more for some of the sort of collateral problems associated with the sexual abuse, such as phobias etc.

Remember that if you start out with a therapist and find that it's just not good for you, for no matter what reason, you have the option and the responsibility to let him/her know and move on.

We do get to change our minds!

So, my suggestion? Maybe get an appointment with the supervisor of therapy there at the GLBT counselling center and ask them if they know of a therapist who would be a good candidate.

So many gay men have been sexually abused, it would be a great service for the community if they were to find a therapist willing to learn and grow into that role.

You might consider asking Ken for his suggestions. This is just what has worked out for me.

Once again, I applaud your willingness and courage in pursuing the help you need. Your efforts are very inspiring.

Hope this helps,


"Poke salad Annie, 'gators got you granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was aworkin' on the chain-gang"

-Tony Joe White

#73072 - 01/11/05 09:16 PM Re: Finding a counselor
brokentoys Offline

Registered: 09/03/04
Posts: 149
Loc: So. California
Hey Branson,
I saw my new therapist for the first time last night and she brought up a very interesting point. She said that though it is entirely possible to have SA and not have PTSD it would be highly unusual in her experience. This brings up your situation in my mind. Maybe you could find a PTSD counselor that has not advertised the fact but has some experience with SA. Just a thought. I sure hope something works out for you.

It's easier to go down a hill than up it but the view is much better at the top.

Arnold Bennet

#73073 - 01/14/05 02:38 AM Re: Finding a counselor
Branson Offline

Registered: 12/20/04
Posts: 37
Loc: Seal Beach
Thank you guys. I found one two days ago at least I hope so. He says we can have a six week trial and see how it goes.

Thanks for your help.



Can I trade this life for what's behind door number 2?

#73074 - 01/14/05 07:58 PM Re: Finding a counselor
MikeInFlorida Offline

Registered: 11/27/04
Posts: 43
Loc: Titusville

I am so glad that you found a counselor!! I wish you the best of luck!!


Love others, as you love yourself.


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