Yes, it's normal for us to have ups and downs--especially given what we've gone through. But from my experience and the sound of your post, it sounds like these ups and downs get in the way of leading a regular, fulfilling life.
In a book called "Getting Through the Day" by Nancy J. Napier, she points out that sometimes we have these inner-child "parts" that come out and kind of take over. It's not our fault, but it makes life feel it's kind of out of our control.
For me, it was too much to keep going through these swings and I asked my doctor therapist for something to help in the way of medication. She put me on Celexa and Haldol. Since I'm HIV+ and on other medications, I won't give doses since my non-psychotherapeutic meds increase the others significantly.
These meds really help me. As my regular therapist said, they help to "reduce my emotional temperature."
I remember you saying you were gay. Me too. My partner, Doug, is very supportive. He helps keep me focused. Does your partner know what you are going through, or do you keep all of this a secret and have a battle going on inside?
The nightmares really suck, but they make perfect sense to me. Sounds like things are trying to break through. I usually have wild swings when I start to have nightmares or flashbacks. Be gentle with yourself. Maybe try to step back from it all in your mind and soothe the hurt like you are a hero coming in to save this boy who is wounded--give yourself a big mind hug.
I wish you the very best. So sorry to hear that you have to go through all of this. It truly sucks; I do know how you feel.