went to another coffee house
sat there and gave myself permission to want what i wanted - saw a few people - and sat and knew as i saw the guys that i just wanted to make friends
would have liked to have talked to one fella - but he uprightly left and went out the door
rather than be crestfallen and perceive it as 'rejection' i thought rather - we were wanting and looking for different things
nothing personal - just we wanted different things - he would not have been what i wanted and i would not have been what he wanted - not a value judgement on either of us -
there is also then as i walked a long seeing other guys and things along the way the really
simple but important perception and thought of what i want - my eyes are truly opening to this-
i am not ready for a relationship right now - because i do not have a cohesive life set up - to really base myself on and look then to comingle my life with another's life - not ready -
-but not ready -
ah well - good day tho'
and i can be happy by myself, enjoying sunday -
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders
"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous