Did my abuser make me attracted to men?
It's a damn foolish question, but one that I feel needs to be asked, particularly today in Massachusetts. Because there are small-minded people who are attacking gay families because they're afraid of the "confusion" such families can cause.
To believe "yes," one has to accept as facts the preposition that someone can make another person gay. Some feel that gay people are out to "seduce" or "enlist" new recruits to the lifestyle.
But my abuser wasn't gay. He was an abuser.
Sure, he may have felt a sexual relationship was possible between a grown man and an 11-year-old boy. Maybe. But the relationship got so Goddamn abusive so fast.
I can't remove the sexual component from it, but it wasn't love. It was NEVER love. It was power and control and just plain putting someone's selfish needs above a weaker person's.
I should HATE gays and gay sex, but I don't. Some feel I should BLAME gays for what happened to me, but I don't.
My abuser was a rapist. He didn't make me anything except miserable.
I don't know what I am, but he only made it harder to figure out. The one thing he CANNOT do is make me do anything against my will anymore.
So abuse doesn't change who you are. And I'm glad for that.
Peace and love,
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies