I just want to add my welcoming words to those above.
Nothing I read in your post, Kennedy, sounds different or new; your issues have all been felt or shared by all the members here. I'm glad that you found us; congratulations on starting to make a T connection.
"We are only two and yet our howling can encircle the world's end.
Frightened, you are my only friend.
And frightened we are, every one.
Someone must take a stand -- Coward, take my coward's hand"