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#70015 - 03/17/06 08:52 PM floodgate has open
pbfurm Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 25
Loc: Los Angeles
I have never been able to excel in group therapy. I realize it has been a self-esteem problem. Here, I feel freer to want to share my thoughts and feelings, with a group of guys who have experienced the same traumas that I have in one form or another. There were always people who dominated the sessions, and I just got quieter. Talking online is just so great, it's "awesome" (God, I'm too old to use that expression)!

#70016 - 03/17/06 09:08 PM Re: floodgate has open
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

That's an interesting observation:

There were always people who dominated the sessions, and I just got quieter.
I have posted elsewhere about my discomfort with group therapy, and perhaps one reason for my feelings about it is that I would not want to feel like I was competing for a voice, and against other survivors.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#70017 - 03/17/06 11:47 PM Re: floodgate has open
phoster Offline

Registered: 11/21/03
Posts: 758
Loc: ohio
i found that here, no one really knows the real me. there is power in that, because i can be myself without having to face anyone day to day. i agree that this is one of the best parts of coming here, being able to talk freely.

compassion is a light even to the darkest soul

#70018 - 03/18/06 12:46 AM Re: floodgate has open
markgreyblue Offline

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
"awesome" (God, I'm too old to use that expression)!
i am too - but it is marvelous to use -

37 years old - but i use it! \:\)

nice that you feel this way -


" not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous

#70019 - 03/18/06 03:26 PM Re: floodgate has open
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
ibelieve that here is the only place i can be the real me,the only place where anyone knows the real me.and there is power in that.

its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

#70020 - 03/18/06 07:40 PM Re: floodgate has open
Steven Heath Offline

Registered: 01/06/06
Posts: 81
Loc: New York City
pbfurm....i was in group therapy for a few years.....i, as you, were intimidated by the dominant ones for a while....after a time, though i began to realize that group therapy was kind of a micro-world if you will....groups are made up of the people out there in the world.....some you may like and identify with.....some have nothing to do with your world and reality....after speaking a lot with my shrink about my hesitation to talk in these groups..he helped me muster the courage to talk......and engage......what i realized, for me anyway, was that some people in the group may or may not accept me for who i am....and ultimately that's long as i began liking myself and being proud of myself no matter what some in the group may's the way of the world....but, to your ppint about this site, my experience has been glorious so far...the people i have met and the acceptance, respect and love i feel here is quite's a magical place and i thank all here who i speak with for their acceptance and makes me feel happy that you feel comfort here......steve

#70021 - 03/18/06 08:18 PM Re: floodgate has open
pbfurm Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 25
Loc: Los Angeles
Thanks to all. I think the real issue is as Steven said. In the 70's there were no gay male survivor groups, so I was lumped in with people of all backgrounds and problems. Plenty of anti-gay rhetoric running from the mouths of group members. No wonder I remained silent.

#70022 - 03/19/06 02:59 AM Re: floodgate has open
george of kent Offline

Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 305
Loc: delaware
Another side of the same coin. "Here nobody knows the real me"
In many ways, here is where I am known better than in the real world, at least in the sense that I can talk about myself in ways that I would never dream of doing, in group or in one on one, except in a therapeutic session with a professional T or counselor.
Where is the REAL George? I'm still looking, but I get longer, better glimpses here with the brotherhood than I do just about anywhere else.
Thanks, guys.
Love, etc.

"We are only two and yet our howling can encircle the world's end.
Frightened, you are my only friend.
And frightened we are, every one.
Someone must take a stand -- Coward, take my coward's hand"
Arthur Laurents


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