It was interesting to see this post, I started a similar thread awhile back, 'what does it mean to be gay'? outside of physical attraction. I don't think there's a definitive answer.
Once I chatted with a guy online for awhile about being gay. He emailed me a sort of gay cliffs notes. It included a list of movies to rent ("All About Eve" "Stepford Wives" etc) books to read on art, design, fashion, etc, music to buy, where to get clothes, etc. It was pretty specfic, but I couldn't really relate to it. Judy Garland?? Okay, she had a nice voice, but I don't get the fascination.
And, yes, I've read up on gay history, Stonewall, etc. I get that drag queens were on the frontlines at the time because they were so visible. But (today) I can't relate to the drag queen dressed as a nun with a strap-on dildo riding in the pride parade. I understand they may be expressing who they are, and their feelings toward organized religion, but it seems juvenile.
I think the definition of gay culture, and gay identity, keeps changing over time, if it can be defined at all.
(David Souter, really? ---Also, Sulu, er George Takei, came out recently)
Digging in the dirt
Stay with me I need support
I'm digging in the dirt
To find the places I got hurt
Open up the places I got hurt