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#69386 - 11/22/05 07:47 AM taking a difficult step; positive energy needed!
cat lover Offline

Registered: 10/09/05
Posts: 89
Loc: Denver, Colorado
I am nearly complete with the process of filing a police report to document having been raped by my exboyfriend. It has taken a lot of emotional energy, and I find that I cannot work on it all at once until it's done. The police tell me that photographs will also be helpful for them, so I need to go through a box that will undoubtedly bring back memories of which I may not be so fond. Tomorrow I am going to the therapist and hope to finalize the written informatoin. The pictures may have to wait until next week. I am in need of some positive energy. Having this in the back of my mind has been more distracting than usual. I'm hoping I'll feel better once the report is filed. At this point I do not plan to press charges, but simply to file the report. It happened 2.5 years ago, and still somehow lingers, catching me off-guard sometimes, as it did a few times last weekend. So send me your positive vibes, fellows!

#69387 - 11/22/05 09:27 AM Re: taking a difficult step; positive energy needed!
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Cat Lover,

No one has the right to force sex onto another person against their will, and you have every right to report someone who has raped you. To the argument that this was your bf, after all, the answer is simply, "Yes indeed, that's what I thought!"

Have you looked into the consequences of filing such a report? I am not suggesting that you rethink this, but bear in mind that once you do so, then the information that is now yours to control will be under the authority of the police.

Keep us informed as to what you are doing bro, and good luck.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#69388 - 11/22/05 09:18 PM Re: taking a difficult step; positive energy needed!
george of kent Offline

Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 305
Loc: delaware
Tons of positive energy flowing in your direction, brother.
Larry, as always, has sage advice.
Memories of rape and violence will probably always catch us "off guard" but "taking action", in whatever form that takes for you, should revalidate your own dignity and worth in your own eyes and in the eyes of others.
Love, etc.,

"We are only two and yet our howling can encircle the world's end.
Frightened, you are my only friend.
And frightened we are, every one.
Someone must take a stand -- Coward, take my coward's hand"
Arthur Laurents

#69389 - 11/24/05 02:57 AM Re: taking a difficult step; positive energy needed!
cat lover Offline

Registered: 10/09/05
Posts: 89
Loc: Denver, Colorado
Larry, and George of Kent: You both have good points. Boyfriend or not, no one has the right to manipulate / corece me into "sex." It is affirming to hear it stated that way. I'm not sure about revalidation in the eyes of others - some friends think I just "forget the whole thing ever happened" - but I think filing a report will help me stand up for myself, assert myself, take something back. I've been intentional with the counselor that from this act, I want release and relief.

#69390 - 11/24/05 03:41 AM Re: taking a difficult step; positive energy needed!
sonlite Offline

Registered: 12/11/01
Posts: 100
Loc: North Carolina
I am proud of you for being proactive.


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