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#69204 - 08/26/05 09:26 AM Re: What is driving me away from here? Censorship!
lostcowboy Offline

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 798
Loc: Rhode Island
Hi Jasper, sorry you are having a bad time here, I will miss you while you are gone. I am sorry that you have been getting "nastygrams". I would prefer that they post them in public, so I could read them, and give my 2 cents worth of advice.
I have a suggestion, when you come back, in your profile preference settings, you can turn off pm's. That would force these people to post in public, so we can read them.

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

#69205 - 08/26/05 10:28 AM Re: What is driving me away from here? Censorship!
Leosha Offline

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
I will state right here, 'for the record', that I have sent you a PM of something you said, how you said it, I did not agree with. I did not say 'oh, it may offend someone else'. I said it offended ME, and why. Several things were included in those messages that went back and forth between us. If you wish to post them publicly, you have my consent, because I said nothing I regret. I perhaps could have been more tactful, but looking back at them just now, I think they were quite civil and respectful to you.

I have taken issue with few something else you said recently, but assumed it was MY problem, MY issue, and left it alone. But I will speak it here, in the open, so I will not be accused of attacking in private. I did not like your response to Charlie's post in the 'Call to arms' thread, stating that basically no one here is an adult. That we are all children, except moderators, those who have left, or a select other few. I resented that statement and what I inferred from it. I live my life as an adult. I take care of my family, I assist them financially, and have been working and doing that since I WAS a young child. I am responsible, I am intelligent, I am educated, I am experienced, and I am knowledgeable. To have someone who does not know me make a sweeping statement like that which, by it's nature, includes me, frankly, pissed me off. Perhaps I am the only one, but anyway, there, I said it. It is not me telling you it could offend others. It is me telling you it offended ME. I am not saying it in expectation of apology or explanation, because I do not deserve any. You said something, and you meant something by it. Whether I took your meaning, or I read more into it, that is MY issue, yes?

Originally posted by Jasper50:

Every few days, since I don't know when, I've been getting private messages about things I post. And they are from a wide variety of people. Some I'm not that crazy about to begin with. Others that I deeply respect.
However, I think if this was me, I would be rather concerned of how I am presenting myself here. Because you are saying, it is not just Jack, Joe and John repeatedly sending you these messages. You say it is from a wide variety of people. There are probably people of all kinds of backgrounds, cultures, education levels, age groups. And these people are taking concern in what you are saying or how you are saying it? More then just one or two who could just be jerks? I can speak only for myself, but if it were me, I think I would be going back and rereading what I post, what people comment on, and try to see if it is possible that what seems quite acceptable to me is maybe not to others.

As for true 'censorship', I think I have seen perhaps only one of your posts be removed, other then the one you wanted deleted (and maybe that one wasn't even removed, maybe I just saw it and now don't know where I saw it at). But truly, I think there is some level of self-censorship that we all do on a regular basis out of courtesy to those around us. I know of someone I worked with some last year who is a nice enough guy, but has a propensity to tell off color (racist) jokes. But he will normally not tell those around me (and few other people) because he knows I find them offensive and distasteful, and he respects me enough to be able to pick a better time and place. I never asked for that consideration, and I am quite capable of just walking away. But he choses to do that. I appreciate it.

I just am perhaps confused, that what you are considering 'censorship' is more just people making reminders of general respect, common courtesy, and personal accountability. In the poetry thread, one person made it know that he felt it offensive. I know he is not the only one (and no, I am not saying me, I was just confused by it until I found out what those items were). To be speaking of true survivor and healing issues and to offend someone, well, sometime that will happen, as we all have different triggers. But in a thread such as that, I think it could have been easier to say 'oops, sorry' and leave it be. That is just me, of course. But the course that, and other, threads have taken, it colors my perception of people. That is certain.

Just is some thoughts.


Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

#69209 - 08/26/05 10:15 PM Re: What is driving me away from here? Censorship!
kevin1960 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/05/05
Posts: 1
Jasper your points are well noted and I hear your fears and concerns. It is a wonderful thing to have someone love and care for you. Sadly, as my youth disappeared, so did the interest in a lot of my emotional well-being. As an adult, I have spent many a moment wishing that someone would "adopt" me and protect me.
Growing physically older I have been taught that I should know better than to want something like that. But is it really wrong? I am educated,I work, I support my family, I support my community, I am the rock of Gibralter for many. Yet, my pain and suffering I experienced when I was young brought many caring appropriate people into my life. When I am emotionally raw, disocciative to the point that I cannot feel my body, and I am in a suit and tie holding a board meeting with 30 men and women looking at me, watching me, hearing an amazing speech of which I feel nothing, I wish to God that someone would run to my rescue and give me the urgency that is given to the young so freely. Even as i write this I have been censuring myself, saying that it is wrong to want protection/adoption. I still have hope.

#69210 - 08/27/05 01:08 AM Re: What is driving me away from here? Censorship!
Charlie Offline

Registered: 02/27/05
Posts: 148
Jasper, please stop talking about me in your posts. I've never been mean to you, I've never sent you rude pm's, I've never talked about you in my posts. I don't know you and you don't know me. I'm sorry I was late replying to the Call To Arms thread, I was away from the site for 5 weeks but I wanted to add my name 'cause it's important. I don't expect grownups on the site to take care of me or be like a parent, I have a counsellor and people who care about me in real life. There are guys here who're real easy to talk to and I look up to them and respect them 'cause they're good guys. Talking to them means a lot. And yeah, I'm being careful 'cause my safety is important and I've told other kids here to be safe. I posted a poem in the poetry forum and people started fighting. I'm sorry about that. I didn't understand your joke about "spotted d-ck". I'm sorry about that too. Take care.

Guys, please don't start another fight about young people \:\( Why can't we be nice to each other?

#69212 - 08/27/05 03:26 AM Re: What is driving me away from here? Censorship!
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Originally posted by Jasper50:
Charlie...come on, now. Who adopted you as your online Daddy? Seriously. Come forward and everything will be okay. I know who it is but it's up to you to say it. Don't you agree?
Jasper - This line of conversation seems abusive to me, although I can tell from your multitude of posts thumbing your nose at everyone who would try to point anything out to you that you don't see it that way or just don't give a damn. Is there no line that can't be crossed in your world? Is there really no sense of right and wrong? All Charlie asked was that you leave him alone but you can't seem to even do that. I think Don-NY said it very plainly and to the point in his post - if you're receiving a lot input from various sources and they're all providing the same message, are they all then really wrong and you're the only one right? I know you'll be tempted to come back (again) and enlighten us all with tales of how ignorant we are for not understanding that there are no boundaries in this world. Whatever. Maybe not in your world, but there are in mine.


#69213 - 08/27/05 03:43 AM Re: What is driving me away from here? Censorship!
reality2k4 Offline

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Jasper, why deal hurt on hurt!!!
Do you not see hurt?
Do you only want to hurt?
How deep does it go, and how deep can it hurt?

You tell me!

You have all the answers, and the assumptions known in the public domain.

Leave them where they might linger and fester in your own mind, and keep them to yourself.

Do not speculate, do not think you are some do gooder here, I dont, and I am sure you are not in the category of Devils advocate.

These forums focus on deep hurt, and yes, I have putlled you on PMs, doesnt work, I have pulled you on topics and you turn it into a joke.

The joke is one you my friend, and I have reported this post to the mods, quite rightly.

I wonder why I did that?

I will tell you why.

I remember being a small boy all alone and he always was, and some adults he trusted just as he still does, but to trust you as an adult takes some imagination well outta my reach as a member of the human genome.

Take in what other ppl tell you or ask you, is that impossible for you to do?

Hurting with irresponsible remarks is real hurt here, so be careful who you aim it at, and dont assume you know everything, and dont make assumptions of other members.

That is fatal here, and it is not the Mafia, it is a caring group, so I hope you can take heed, but I guess not,


Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

#69215 - 08/27/05 04:25 AM Re: What is driving me away from here? Censorship!
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Time to close this down before it gets abusive.

But I want to make something clear, the Mod team will not tolerate anyone being driven away from MS by a campaign of PM's.


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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