I personally had a tough time relating to my kids before I started working on my recovery. Looking back, I think most of it was jealousy was with my son over the fact that his mom and I watch over him and keep him safe where mine weren’t able to protect me. I also think part of it may have been the old myth that I may abuse him simply because I was abused. That was before I learned 87% of victims do not go on to be offenders themselves (you can find this and other myths debunked here
Another thing that happens is we tend to feel “victimized” by regular everyday things. In other words, we are easily upset by things such as being cut off in traffic, the person with 13 things in the 12 items or less line, and when our kids are being kids. Usually when they are loud and having fun and when they don’t listen to what we demand of them.
As recovery progresses this problem should fade away, and hopefully, as frustrating as this problem is, you can find some comfort knowing this is a common issue and you are not alone.
I hope that helps.