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#67653 - 09/09/03 10:14 PM HELP
helpmystephen Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/07/02
Posts: 19
Loc: nyc
My husband is having a real hard time. I know I cann't make him better, but I want to help. He is not open with me about what has happened to him, he does not share his fears oe what goes on in his mind. I tell him that I am here for him but he doesn't seem intrested. He is in therapy but I don't know if he opens up there. I have asked him to consider a group therapy, he says he does not know. Any advise on what I can do to help him open up and has anyone had experience with group therapy.

#67654 - 09/10/03 04:37 AM Re: HELP
martin Offline

Registered: 06/08/03
Posts: 229
Loc: The Good Earth

You are doing the best thing you can do and all that you can do by telling him you are there for him.

Its a traumatic thing disclosing that you were sexually abused. It can be even more traumatic disclosing it to a loved one. He may fear what you will think of him.

Maybe you can suggest that you accompany him on one of his therapy sessions to talk with his therapist.

Dealing with someone who is recovering from sexual abuse can be difficult for all concerned. Maybe you should consider getting some support for yourself during this time. Seeing a counselor yourself or support group or cleryman. Keep posting here as well and read what you can.

I'm sure your husband hears, knows, and is appreciative that you are supportive of him. It may just be hard to talk about right now.

I wish much peace,


Its times like these we learn to live again,
Its times like these we give & give again,
Its times like these we learn to love again,
Its times like these time & time again.
-The Foo Fighters

#67655 - 09/11/03 10:07 AM Re: HELP
Leosha Offline

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
I have not been to any group therapy, and could not imagine myself to do that. I am too shy to imagine that, and also still do not do so great of this language, which embarrasses me too much. I agree that him knowing you are there for him, that you support him, I know that helps him. I tell my friend a little of what happened in my past, and then could not tell her more. But it helps me to know that I can, with her or few other friends, that they do not judge me bad or not like me because of this. That is good for him, just to know that. Try not to take it as personal, that he maybe does not share so much for a while. I am still dealing of it in my head, and then maybe will be able to share more with friends. Maybe he feels same as me. I wish you both good luck.


Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

#67656 - 09/12/03 01:54 AM Re: HELP
Green Offline

Registered: 07/13/03
Posts: 115
Loc: NYC, NY
Aaron's suggestion is great.

Maybe you can suggest that you accompany him on one of his therapy sessions to talk with his therapist.
The first time that I went to my therapist I took my wife along. It was the best thing that I ever did. One surprising consequence is that she decided to see the therapist on her own. It's been great.



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