if K deals with R, then he's in control.
If K assures you he's dealt with R, he's in control.
His life up until now has had very little control that he'd call his own, and this crisis he's would almost certainly seem like a regression to him, more loss of control.
The abuse we endured was a loss of control, we lived with it and nearly always compounded it.
R is only a problem if you let it become one, it's an embarrasment for you all. Let them sort it out, AFTER setting more boundaries with K, like reporting back to you.
Agree terms, then let him control the event. With acceptance comes responsibility.
But if you're serious about this -
.. at some point, i'm just going to say, "ok, i tried ..." ... and then i'll do the practical things around here that need to be done (am already doing this, actually), get *myself* set up and truly independent and then show him the door ... and he can just be alone in his head ... although i would hate that for him ... i really would ...
then don't torture yourself or K, do it now.