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#67640 - 11/30/06 12:08 AM confrontation - regression - advice?
selene Offline

Registered: 11/10/06
Posts: 221
Loc: midwest

"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye." ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery from The Little Prince

#67642 - 11/30/06 01:17 AM Re: confrontation - regression - advice?
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
if K deals with R, then he's in control.

If K assures you he's dealt with R, he's in control.

His life up until now has had very little control that he'd call his own, and this crisis he's would almost certainly seem like a regression to him, more loss of control.

The abuse we endured was a loss of control, we lived with it and nearly always compounded it.
R is only a problem if you let it become one, it's an embarrasment for you all. Let them sort it out, AFTER setting more boundaries with K, like reporting back to you.
Agree terms, then let him control the event. With acceptance comes responsibility.

But if you're serious about this -
.. at some point, i'm just going to say, "ok, i tried ..." ... and then i'll do the practical things around here that need to be done (am already doing this, actually), get *myself* set up and truly independent and then show him the door ... and he can just be alone in his head ... although i would hate that for him ... i really would ...
then don't torture yourself or K, do it now.


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau


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