Newest Members
chairdesklamp, Bill Ohio USA, jez, Long Way Home, Bcbornleo
13595 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Andrew (67), andrew-almost52 (67), andrew51 (67), James35 (51), jmr2191 (27), Ower (53), steve-o (61), TOM2 (36)
Who's Online
3 registered (betrayed boy, wearytraveler, chairdesklamp), 54 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,595 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,699 Topics
493,761 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2
Topic Options
#66722 - 06/27/03 01:18 AM Re: im so ticked
doctorfrau Offline

Registered: 04/11/03
Posts: 60
Loc: West Virginia (NOT western Vir...
I have to agree with PAS. Although my faith has gotten me through alot in my life, I do not believe that everyone who throws God at you necessarily has your best interests at heart.

There is alot of narrow-minded ignorance and hate out there, masquerading as religious "truth".

I also believe in the the advice... "Faith can move mountains -- but bring a shovel" \:D

Have you heard this story?....

There was a very faithful man who lived in a town by a river. He relied on God for everything in his life. One day there came rains so heavy that the floodwaters began to rise around his house. He stood on the front porch and prayed for God to save him. A sheriff's deputy arrived in a boat and told the man to climb in. "No thanks, The Lord will save me" replied the faithful man. The deputy looked puzzled, but motored off to the next house. The water continued to rise, and soon the man had to retreat to the 2nd story window. Soon a fire department rescue boat arrrived and tossed the man a line. "No thanks" the man said, "The Lord will save me." The fireman shrugged and pulled away. By this time the water was almost to the roof, and as the man was clinging to the chimney, a Coast Guard helicopter roared down and hovered over him. The man was calm and waved them off, exclaiming "The Lord will save me". Shortly afterward the rising water claimed the man and he drowned. He stood before the Lord in disbelief, and said "Lord! How could you do this to me?! I have always been faithful, and I have always relied on You. How could you abandon me in my hour of need?!"

The Lord looked down on the man with a frustrated expression and said "Good grief man, What more do you want?! I sent you TWO boats and a helicopter!!"

"...your choice, is what to DO with the time that you are given."

#66723 - 06/27/03 04:50 AM Re: im so ticked
stpbb Offline

Registered: 03/03/03
Posts: 103
That is one of my favorite stories!

I cannot agree more with the comments regarding trust and religious viewpoints. Growing up, our protestant minister once gave a sermon where he talked about Christian values & faith & action. He made the point that he had known a buddist who was a better Christian in many ways than some Christians who believe themselves to be very devout and good people.

Telling someone else how they should do things without being asked is a form of criticism. Many people do it with the best of intentions -- I know MY family loves to throw in their two cents on what I am (or am not) doing with my life. I take it the best way I can & usually manage to interpret it as a way that they express their love and concern. I also am dealing with my insecurity and self-criticism in therapy -- maybe there is a connection?.... :p Anyway, you won't find inner peace and happiness because someone else is telling you how! (If only...) And you certainly won't get the money you need because someone else told you it isn't supposed to be difficult, or because someone else said you can. It is tough to find the resources that you need -- I worked in healthcare in a progressive part of the country before all the services were cut back to nothing & even then it was hard to connect people to the resources they needed. Now the situation is much harder. I don't mean to discourage you & I do think you will succeed if you persevere (we found a sliding fee clinic here because of costs & as it turned out the therapist is as good as my bf has ever had), but just acknowledge that it IS hard. (I hate the type of criticism "If he was really trying he'd have found a job by now" etc. BS if you ask me)

Hang in there.


#66724 - 06/27/03 11:43 AM Re: im so ticked
lauraanimal Offline

Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 58
Loc: montana
i just wanted to thank you all for your posts and advice. it means so much.

i sent my mother a return e-mail in responce, havent heard from her sence, didnt expect to.....and i doubt it did any good.

for now i am not going to have anything to do with her. i think it is in jokers and i's best intrest not to at this time. i know what she said hurt him and i deeply.

i do believe in he lord , and i know that i am not the best christian out there, but i also know the lord understands what i am (we) going threw and see's my (our) efforts. and that that is all that he asks of us .

I know MY family loves to throw in their two cents on what I am (or am not) doing with my life. I take it the best way I can & usually manage to interpret it as a way that they express their love and concern.
my family is very good at giving there 2 cents worth even if they know nothing about it, or not even asked for it. they love to tell joker and i what we should do with our lives and wt they think of how we areliving it. and yes usualy we both take it as there own way of expressing there love and concern.

i find it ironic however that we have made these adaptations to there "views" of our lives, and that we try to understand this. when in reality they dont give us the same understanding or concern as expected from us. i guess it is this that makes it so agrivating to me that they wont take th time totry and understand what we are going threw.

i love my mom, i love all my family, as well as joker loves them too. it is just time that we put some distance between us and let them wonder for once what they did wrong. maybe,just maybe (but i dont expect it) it will give them some time to ponder things and realize what joker and i are going threw is not a joker and is very real.


always be true to your self and your heart.
dont forget to love yourself 1st, then the restwill fall into place.

#66725 - 06/27/03 11:50 AM Re: im so ticked
lauraanimal Offline

Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 58
Loc: montana
i forgot to tell you, that before she sent me her e-mail i had sent her one with information on it on how family and friends can help those with bi-polar and sa survivors. in this it had a listof tings of what not to do that may trigger or make things worse for them. one of the things in this list was not to tell them to just snap out of it or get over it, or to tell them to have more faith. plus several other things she did anyway.

this is what i sent her in responce to her e-mail i posted earlier.

OK, seeing as you really didnít read the infromation I sent you lets swap Bible verces.

Ps. 113:9 "Be a joyful "mother" of children"

Isa 49:15 "Can a woman forget her sick child"

Prov. 29:23 "Honour shall uphold the humble in spirit"

Isa. 33:22 "The Lord is our judge"

Luke 6:37 "Judge not, that ye be not judged"

Luke 19:22 "Out of thine own mouth will I judge thee"

Rom. 2:1 "Wherein thou judge another thour condemnest thyself"

Deut 1:17 "Not respect persons in judgment, judgment is God's"

Now these are just a few. Jesus taught that the way to eternal life is through him. "Most" churches teach (and if yours doesnít I would worry about the God your preacher is following) that once we have accepted Christ into our lives and are bapitized we will live (or as close to it as man can) a "Christ like life". Now I ask you this, would Christ turn his back on his children? Would Christ judge and belittle? Would Christ show hate? or would he show love, compation, and understanding. God said if you lack understanding ask and you will have it. Have you prayed to understand the illness we have? or Have you only prayed that our lives start to go the way you think they should? Let me give you an example here: Which have you prayed at night when you say your prayer? "Dear God, Please let Laura and J find your love and let them get a job...etc, etc,etc" or have you prayed "Dear God, Please help me understand the pain that Laura and J are facing. Please help me see how I can help them in love and compation and understanding. Please help me hold my tounge in things I donít understand....etc, etc,etc" Now I wonder which one God would rather see a mother pray for her children? Now your so quick to point out how I donít have enough faith in God and if I would just put it in Gods hands all would be fine. Well mom let me ask you this. Have you also preached to the other children about there sins? How about your two other daughters having children out of wedlock(I'm not going to use the biblical terms here). Do you allow the "law of the land" to be broken in your home? God tells us to NOT have sex before marrage, doesnít he mom? God tells us to follow the laws of the land, doesnít He mom? Are you on your gospial high horse with the others or is it just me? You donít have to answer I already know. Now I know as you read this your thinking "Yup, if I would have sent them the money non of this would be an issue" well mom your wrong, this isnt about money. This is about you judging us for what "you" think we should do . The sistuation about the money or asking you to help with the kids was just what the phone call started out to be, it ended up a bashing sesion on how "we " should live our lives in "your" eyes. I seem to remember a time when you was hurting and crying because of the loss of a loved one and I tried to comfort you. I made the mistake of saying I understand how you feel, you quickly pointed out no I didnít I wasnít in your shoes to even try to understand how it felt lossing you mom. your right I donít know what it is like to loose my mom, but it goes the same with you in this situation mom, you donít understand what it is like to go threw what I and j are, so donít judge us on something you dont understand yourself. So mom do me this favor (I know you donít owe me anything and trust me you have made it perfectly clear on that part), when you pray at night for us. Donít pray for us to find a job, donít pray for us to have more understanding of God, donít pray for us to live our lives the way you think we should. If you feel you have to pray for us, then pray for our pain to be eased, pray for us to have wisdom, pray for us to have strength, pray for us to know God loves us. Thatís all the prayer we need mom. So just do me this favor before you start quoting>
always be true to your self and your heart.
dont forget to love yourself 1st, then the restwill fall into place.

#66726 - 06/27/03 12:04 PM Re: im so ticked
outis Offline

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2261
Loc: Maryland USA

Thank you for sharing that. I learned a lot about prayer when I read it.

With my prayers for you & James,


"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbrokenÖ"óThe Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

Page 2 of 2 < 1 2

Moderator:  ModTeam, peroperic2009 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.