*****MORE INCREDIBLY FRANK TALK FROM JAMES****
You need space. Stop with the 'safe distance' stuff. And what is this adolescent game of "I won't pick up when you call"?
Not to mention the control issues, the codependency, the drug use (steroids ARE drugs). You need to get help for you. You are so wrapped up in "his" issues that you aren't helping you.
Read back your postings. You are WAY overscrutinizing, number one; number two, JUST BE.
And I like to analyze stuff, I should know when someone else is doing it too much.
Take this advice, please:
"Don't just do something...stand there."
I am very serious with that. Read it, Think it, repeat it like a mantra. SLOW the F down.
Find out WHY you feed so much on this chaos. Why do you stick around with it? What is appealing to you about all the fighting and crises? What would happen if it all ended tomorrow? What would the two of you do?
I get nervous for you, and I am not even living it! You do not have to be anyone's savior. Support yes, shoulder, yes.
Enough of the lecture. Take care...of YOU.