I love the sarcasm, and pardon for the humor, but 'mama's advice' sounded like some American country song! Except, before the dog dies, he takes off with the pickup truck?
Seriously, I am sorry that you are dealing with such difficulties. I know how 'personality disordered' we survivors can be, having several myself. I hope things will settle a little more for you soon. Meantime, please be gentle with and take care of yourself.
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.
"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963