How do you pull away for your own santity and, damn to make a point about being taken for granted without seeming like you are abandoning? Then again, does he even notice that?
You have to 'just do it'.
Your sanity is the most important thing in your world, and if you are in a relationship then it's the second most important thing in his world.
That might sound brutal, but what good will you be to yourself, him, and the rest of the people around you if you collapse under the strain?
We do notice, well I like to think I noticed when my wife was having difficulty with me. But I know that I didn't always respond to that knowledge, certainly not to her.
I was being selfish, not in an uncaring way, but selfish in the respect that I was using my resources for my benefit, because at the time I needed them.
Which is something I learned to tell my wife, "look after yourself, I can barely cope with myself right now".
Now I can repay that care, love and support, and it's debt I'll never be able to repay fully.