Hi again helping-
had to mention too that for me, when i read about the trusting cycle and how it arouses intense fear because they have trusted us, and thus , like you experienced, just after the best of times, is the worst of times, seeing why made me keep my sanity. And trust the good times. it actually told me the good times were as real to him as they were to me, only because of the different places our psyches are in, our reaction to the good times of trusting is opposite. For now, I'm just taking comfort in knowing that his experience of trust and comfort was real and powerful for him- when the time is right he'll use the power for instead of against himself - I celebrate the trusting times and come here and everywhere else that offers me insight and understanding so I can be transcendent during the "blackout" times.
easier said than done though I know, and I especially feel awful that he did damage to you workwise.
is he at all into recovery? I would have no hope if my guy hadn't begun recovery and didn't want it badly (in spite of his hesitancy and understandable approach-avoidance to it). But if he wasn't working on recovery, it would just be a vicious cycle as you mentioned- i know I'd give up then.
You've made me think that I've got to talk to him about us making sure that at least with every one step back, we manage two steps forward... you've got me thinking about ways we need to perhaps try to plan for that the next time things are going good.... take care-
(ps i'm a female partner of a survivor)