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#64743 - 01/24/05 09:16 PM Protecting children from the silence.
wifenneed Offline

Registered: 12/20/02
Posts: 96
Loc: Michigan
My husband has withdrawn himself again, and this time it is total. He won't talk to my young children, and isolates himself to the basement when they are in the room, but will come up and watch tv in the living room when they are in bed, etc. I hate to see them not get answered when they ask him something, anything. It breaks my heart. I'm an adult and I'm having a hard time with this yet again, it never seems to get easier. I can't seem to unplug myself from the hurt of him handling things in this manner (he got angry with me over a disagreement).

I feel like I want to leave, just get away from the frigid atmosphere, so the kids don't see it and sense it. I'm afriad of what they take away from these episodes of his. I'm trying to stay strong for them and him, help HIM, etc., but I feel like a rug on the floor. A pregnant one at that.

I don;t have the luxury of just checking out on my family, children, husband. What if I did that? I have to be strong, and put up a brave face. I can't crumble with pain and isolate myself. I am angry at him for doing this, and I am left with everything to deal with.

I know this sounds harsh towards my survivor husband. I'm sorry to any survivors an spouses if I offend. I'm just trying to cope, it is overwhelming me. I need to vent somewhere, and this is all I have.

#64744 - 01/24/05 09:54 PM Re: Protecting children from the silence.
SAR Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 12/07/03
Posts: 3310
Loc: USA
wifenneed \:\(

You don't have to apologize for your feelings.

Of COURSE you hate to see your children hurt! Of course they can see it when things are tense and frigid in a home, even babies can see that.

Please do try to take a little time and be good to yourself every day. It will go smoother that way than if you're running on empty. Even if it means waking up a little earlier or cutting back somewhere else.

#64745 - 01/25/05 01:06 AM Re: Protecting children from the silence.
forlauren Offline

Registered: 10/11/04
Posts: 63
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
I agree you shouldn't have to apologize for feeling overwhelmed and worried for your children. The number one thing I see is that children are especially sensitive to their mothers' emotional state. I hope you can find some way to take care of yourself emotionally, through family support etc., to help lessen the blow to your kids. I think getting out of the house with the kids sounds like a good idea. I hope you're in your second trimester so that you might have the energy to do this.


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