By way of clarification it needs to be borne in mind that when needsanswers asks: "I'm curious about how many in here are or have been married previously?", she means how many GAY survivors are or have been married. Her post was originally to the Gay Forum.
With the move of the original post to this forum, where partners can post, things seem to be getting scrambled up because it's not clear what different people are talking about. So here is my contribution to the definitive mangling of the topic.
My read of your original post, needsanswers, is that you are worried about the possibility that your husband either has been or eventually can be turned into a homosexual by what happened to him as a boy. I will proceed on the assumption that this is in fact what you are getting at, and of course sorry if I am getting it wrong.
Yes indeed, there are gay men who are married, and they do that for a variety of reasons. Some might be confused or uncertain about their sexuality and unwilling to face the fact that they are gay. Others may figure that marrying and starting a family will sort things out. Whatever the reasons, sure, there are gay men who are married.
But when George repied to you, he was simply confirming that some of these married gay men (or formerly married gay men), including himself, are also survivors. I don't think he would ever wish to suggest that he or any other gay man was "turned gay" by the abuse he suffered. Similarly, Phoster speaks of being bi, but I don't think he means that he is bi because he was abused when he was young.
It's a common myth that sexual abuse and homosexuality are linked, I suppose because both involve male-male sexual acts. But for a gay man sex is only part of his identity. There are also considerations like his social circle, who his soulmates are, places and situations where he feels comfortable and accepted, and so on. Basically, his "gayness" is part of who he is; it's inseparable from his identity as a person and it's one thing that defines him.
But abuse is nothing like that. Abuse is a heinous crime committed against a defenseless innocent child. An abused boy will very often be tempted to define himself in terms of his abuse because it is such an overwhelming emotional issue for him, but his recovery consists largely in BREAKING that link. He has to understand and believe that abuse does NOT define him. He needs to believe that he is okay as a boy (or man), and that it's the abuse that's so perverse and wrong.
There are lots of other things that disprove the myth: for example, most pedophiles consider themselves heterosexual and not gay at all. They go for kids for the ego trip of having such absolute power over a child.
The false logic of the myth can be seen if we look at the parallel example of a woman who has been raped. It would of course be absurd for a man to imagine that this terrible experience would turn his wife into a nymphomaniac. (I know this is more complicated than I make it out to be.)
That said, survivors sometimes do engage in male-male sexual acts as adults. But this often has nothing to do with homosexuality. The overwhelming emotional trauma of abuse causes the survivor such emotional harm that he falls into despair and thinks that he is doomed to this and will never escape from it. So in desperation he re-enacts the abuse with other men, the idea being that this time at least he is in control. If a partner's husband is doing this she needs to know that this is in no way a judgment against her as a woman or partner, but a terrible verdict of shame and loathing against himself.
Another effect of abuse is sexual confusion. As a boy the survivor lost his emerging sense of sexual boundaries - what is and is not appropriate behavior, what he should or should not do, what's right and wrong, and so on. Again, this is in no way a matter of abuse turning him gay. This confusion will not simply go away because he grows up, and it can show up in adulthood in various ways. But these problems are not just matters of contacts with other men. I think (but am not sure) it is far more common for the survivor to show this confusion through fear of sex, guilt over being sexual even with someone he loves, inability to perform sexually, and so on.
You rightly point out that it's important to have an honest and healthy foundation for a marriage, and that if there are serious issues these should be discussed before the two decide to marry. But where abuse is concerned it often doesn't work out that way in practice. In many cases the survivor will have "convinced" himself that what happened years ago doesn't matter and that he is "over it". In others the survivor has no coherent memories, or only fragments, and does not begin to recover these until later in life. My wife and I got married in 1981, for example, and I began to come out of denial only in about 2000. It was not until November 2003 that I could actually write the words "I was molested as a kid".
And sure, there are also many cases where the survivor remembers it all and knows how terribly it has affected him, but cannot tell his partner. Again, this isn't directed against the partner. The problem is that the survivor is so traumatized that he cannot tell ANYONE. And I think it's significant that one thing he may dread is the possibility that people who know will think this has made him gay.
Just my thoughts - hope they are helpful.