Newest Members
twinker, LaneFiasco95, Kristabar, tom93, ninjei
13513 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
bcb00 (41), beginning (37), Gary H. (44), jewelmom (66), kdg2310 (58), Li Yuki (2017), monarchnaps (39), Neverquit (33), Nord (61), SoSad (48)
Who's Online
2 registered (Ceremony, Tom E.), 71 Guests and 2 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,513 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,198 Topics
490,144 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Topic Options
#63320 - 12/11/04 10:19 PM Forgetting yourself
Enchantedlady Offline

Registered: 10/22/04
Posts: 35
One thing that I've realized especially the last 6 months is I have to take care of myself. I have spent waaaaaaaay too many years forgetting about me \:\(

I had so many excuses the kids need me, I don't have time, H needs me, I have the housework, etc. In the mean time I was losing myself. When the counselor asked me what does Enchanted need. I paused and then the tears came. I had no clue

Coming here has been a real blessing, I understand so much more and for me knowledge means a lot. I'm the type of person that must seek wisdom and hidden truths. Guess that's why learnng about other religions and cultures has always interested me.

I have moments where I want to run away, there is just so much going on. When I first came here I explained having a husband that was abused, a daughter that is almost 15, another daughter that is having behavior problems, a son that is just a boy. My head spins and I don't know where to begin. I've learned by taking care of ME that I'm better able to handle what is happening in my life.

I went out and bought crayons, colored pencils, makers, paint, playdough, and different games. I wanted us to do these things as a family but also to the inner child within my husband and I know that everything is going to be ok.

I take bubble baths, go out for coffee at Starbucks with H, read, meditate, pray, take my vitamins, exercise, listen to relaxing music, etc
It's those things that makes my spirit calm and happy. But what I think makes the biggest difference is I'm not forgetting about me anymore

So after this lovely rambling of mine. Take care of yourself, you are special and deserve the love and attention from yourself!!!

ps hope it's not too mushy for ya LOL

The Spirit in me meets the same Spirit in you'

Hebrews 13:5 Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you

#63321 - 12/14/04 10:15 AM Re: Forgetting yourself
Kiara Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/20/04
Posts: 6
Loc: Australia
It's good to hear that you are taking care of yourself and having me time!
Thanx while reading I just realized the same thing I have to do it too, because if you can't handle yourself than who can you handle!

#63322 - 12/14/04 12:16 PM Re: Forgetting yourself
SAR Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 12/07/03
Posts: 3310
Loc: USA
You are right Enchanted, it's more important that we remember to take care of ourselves, than what we do about it.

I am a big geek when it comes to lists, schedules, calendars... many times when we draw these things up, we only put the boring stuff on there. I find it much easier to do what I need to do for me, if I make it a part of my day by including it in the schedule.

I also find that the earlier in the day I make time for myself, the faster I get other things done later in the day. I am lucky in that I can be sort of flexible with my work schedule, I have one day off during the week when everyone else has work and school. I plan all my errands in town for that day, it leaves me with no choice but to walk everywhere, and between the walk and the hour or so of quiet in the house, I get back a lot of what I lose during the week.


#63323 - 12/21/04 07:05 AM Re: Forgetting yourself
sandylee Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/08/04
Posts: 11
Loc: Atlanta, GA

I actually read your post after reading some advice that you gave me today about your Mom's boyfriend on my own post. I feel that you may really be able to help me - to understand her perspective as well as the mate of a survivor.

You said you had no clue what you wanted, and I feel the same way - I have spent my life taking care of everyone that I don't have my own dreams, wants, or even clear understanding of needs. Because I have always put everyone first, I am afraid of hurting my daughter by helping my bf. Does that make sense? I am torn up not knowing if it makes me a terrible person/mother to even consider loving him another minute more. But as we all know, love is not like a faucet you can turn on/off so quickly.

Please PM me or respond back somehow. I have no one to talk to and this site has helped me sooo much.




Moderator:  ModTeam, peroperic2009 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.