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#62734 - 02/20/02 11:47 PM All That You Are
lovemyhusband Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 09/19/01
Posts: 23
I thought for it happened a long time ago
That you were somehow now alright
I thought you had worked out the pain and the guilt
And your dreams were not troubled at night

Your portrayal of strength and your confident aire
Gave me reason to feel you were fine
If you showed a weakness I never did see
There was never a defenite sign

It happened so slowly like a thread on a sweater
One day I had noticed a snag
But you snipped it away and said was all fine
How did I know this was a red flag?

As the time went along you became more unraveled
And I realized that all was not fine
You could not keep the truth from all spilling out
And the pain that was yours became mine.

I cry in the night and sometimes the day
At your little boy's innocence lost
But I stand here beside you to weather this storm
Whatever the outcome or cost.

For you are my love, my life and my soul
Not just words are "For better or worse"
How could I accept all the good that you are
If I do not accept your curse?

May you find peace in my open arms
And the courage to face whats ahead
It is all that you are that is all that I love
This miracle life you have lead

#62735 - 03/07/02 02:05 AM Re: All That You Are
Just Call me J Offline

Registered: 07/14/01
Posts: 204
Loc: Inland Empire, California
I've been away for a long time, so today was my first time looking in the forums. I just found your incredible poem.

Amazing! Beautiful! Encouraging!

I can't think in paragraphs right now. But thank you so much for sharing your poem with us.

I've been feeling overwhelmed (in a good way) as my relationship with my girlfriend continues into its 4th month. I'm beginning to feel the "snags" in my life growing, but I'm comforted by my girlfriend's support.

So to all you wives, girlfriends, and lovers, thank you for standing beside your man. It may not be easy to articulate our appreciation, but believe me, it makes a difference.

We're in this together.


We're in this together. - Nine Inch Nails

#62736 - 03/08/02 03:04 AM Re: All That You Are
Stephen_5 Offline
BoD Emeritus
Registered: 09/12/00
Posts: 667
Loc: Northern California Foothills

That was truely inspiring. It really hit home with me.


I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)

#62737 - 04/09/02 03:13 PM Re: All That You Are
Thad Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 08/28/01
Posts: 1752
Loc: Oakland, CA
Yes, I agree. Your poem was very moving. It shows your love and support for him as well as your patient sustaining presence in his life.

I had received your request for information in reply to my posts. Unfortunately, until now, I was having computer problems and could not make a direct reply.

I have no great resources on the subject, just my own ruminations on the issue as it effects my life and what I have been able to understand from the many posts of others. I am reading a helpful book by Mike Lew, Victims no Longer, which I can recommend. (I noticed that NOMSV has some kind of way to order it that generates some contribution to them from the purchase)

I can say that is a difficult subject and there are many variations of how we experience it. My posts were an attempt to seek some understanding in the midst of confusion and to try to affirm who we are in the midst of it. I know that it creates a lot of difficulty in relationships, but you have shown the rare quality of seeking to understand it while providing the support that he needs. I can only council patience and that the expectations in a "normal" intimate relationship will not apply well in a relationship with a survivor. Our ability to relate on many levels has been altered and the path to our heart is convuluted with many twists and turns. Things will not always be as they appear, and we will not always know why we respond or are not able to respond.

I had started to give up hope that there would be someone out there that would be able care for me despite my symptoms, but your sustaining love gives me hope.


"..this place isn't a discussion's a portal..." Lupin
"The truth will set you free, but first it will probably piss you off." dwf's AA sponsor.

#62738 - 04/09/02 08:32 PM Re: All That You Are
lovemyhusband Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 09/19/01
Posts: 23
To Thad,

Thank you Thad for responding to my email. Your kind words are defenitely a boost for me. Im sure that there is someone out there waiting for you just as my husband was waiting for me, he just didnt know it or see it coming. It seems that when you stop looking for something, that is when you find. As it states in my poem I love all there is about him, even the parts that he feels are the worst. I too have read Victims no Longer and while all the books are good, they do not seem to focus very much on this particular issue. God Bless you in the near future, stay strong.

#62739 - 01/13/03 01:36 AM Re: All That You Are
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
I just noticed this wonderful poem again, and thought it's about time it had another outing.

Dave \:D

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

#62740 - 01/16/03 04:27 PM Re: All That You Are
andrew-almost52 Offline

Registered: 10/31/02
Posts: 243
Loc: canada
Dear lovemyhusband,
This is an amazing poem and a testament to your love. I marvel that you have not allowed yourself to be victimized along side your husband. He is a lucky man. You have my admiration. Peace, Andrew


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