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#62136 - 08/09/01 03:28 PM I'm very overwhelmed

I am not really sure what to say because I don't want to sound like I am repeating the same things I see in every other posting here. I just can't believe that there are so many other people (women) going through what I am. My boyfriend of nearly 2 years was just put in jail for indecent exposure. He told me just after we met that he had been severely abused for most of his childhood. As a result of that, he has had problems with exposing himself. We thought he had been able to work through his problems, but it appears that he hasn't. Sometimes I am not sure how to help him. I want very much to be there for him and to support him, but sometimes he has trouble letting me in.
Lately he has started talking about getting married. I would very much like to spend my life with him, if I could know that this wouldn't happen again. I am encouraged because he is talking about getting professional help for the first time since I have known him. However part of me wonders if he will be able to get past this. Because I am so new to this sort of thing, I don't know how to deal with it sometimes.
I am very greatful that I happened to stumble across this site. Just being able to see that there are other people out there who are going through the same emotional struggles as I am really helps.
I would like to know if there are others in a similar situation as I though, dealing with him being in jail etc...
Some of my so called friends tell me that I am crazy to stay with him now, but I can't see turning my back on him when he is in need of love even more than he was before.

#62137 - 08/09/01 07:12 PM Re: I'm very overwhelmed
Just Call me J Offline

Registered: 07/14/01
Posts: 204
Loc: Inland Empire, California
You wrote:
>I am not really sure what to say because I don't want to sound like I am repeating the same things I see in every other posting here.

Don't even worry about that. They are YOUR feelings. And other people have felt the same mix of helplessness and concern. You've come to the right place!

I hope that you continue to post, and are able to take some knowledge and support back into your everyday life!

Welcome Tish!


We're in this together. - Nine Inch Nails

#62138 - 08/09/01 10:04 PM Re: I'm very overwhelmed
SoCalJohn Offline

Registered: 05/18/01
Posts: 510
Loc: Los Angeles, California

I think the most important thing for you has to be you taking care of you. If you choose to stay with him and support him through his healing of the hurts of his childhood that is great, god knows he will need all the support he can get.

At this point in his life, if he is using exhibitionism as a way of dealing with the trauma he underwent then i think therapy has to be a must, i think that should be non negotiable if you intend to stay with him. I am not talking about 6 weeks of sex ed either, he has some serious issues growing and the sooner he faces them and sorts them out the better, it could take a while and it will take some serious hard work on his part.

I wish you both well and i hope that he is able to work through some of the issues succesfully, for both of you.


I asked him about this law he spoke of, he said,,, *watch* he then asked the others to share about their lives,,, the others talked of how things were for them, how things worked in their lives,,, and as they believed, it was so.


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