Thanks to everybody who sent me a message. it really help to know that I am not alone dealing with this. I was out of town for a while. Indeed, my boyfriend opened up a little bit. He hasn't seen a therapist yet but it seems like he is more comfortable with human hugs. He does seem to care a great deal about what his male friends think about our relationship though. Almost like he needs their approval to go on. He said he doesn't know where we are, if we are friends or a couple or what. We haven't even kissed in almost nine months and that hurts me because I don't know what to do. should I hug him and kiss him by surprise or is that only going to make matters worse? I haven't tried anything b/c I don't want to trigger any memories or anything...I don't know what to do. It has been nine months already and although in everyrespect we behave like a couple, the only thing missing is intimacy. I also found out that his ex-girlfriend is coming to visit (he didn't tell me) and he is being all torn inside because of this. He doesn't know how to deal with this situation because as he put it, he loved her "mentally" (I don't know what it means) very much and I am afraid she will be a part of his life again and I will be forgotten. Is it worth the wait and the effort? I mean, are we really going somewhere? this is all very confusing because he says one thing but his corporal expressions say otherwise. Has somebody here been in a similar situation or is it just me? is there any hope? or should I quit and forget about it?