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#61600 - 05/03/01 09:24 PM desperate

my fiance was severally sexually abused as a young boy and has lived with the trauma.Last year a male his age befriended him and told him stories of how he was also abused.They had so much in common.Turns out this so called friend was not abused but an abuser.He betrayed my fiances trust and raped him.My fiance is suffering nightmares and is now questioning his own sexual identity.He wonders why males are attracted to him.It has come to the point now where he can look at himself naked.He is grossed out by the male sexual organ.I have tried to help him through his guilt and panic attacks but don't know what to do.My fiance has also been recently diagnosed with bi-polar disorder.Any hints or ideas would be greatly appreciated

#61601 - 05/04/01 03:52 AM Re: desperate

My heart goes out to your fiance.... Trust is a really tough thing for us Survivors, and having an abuser break that trust would be horrible...

I think your fiance really needs a therapist to talk with... I'm sure he's blaming himself for what happened as a child, and now as an adult.

It makes sense to me that your fiance would be having nightmares and is questioning his sexuality... There are probably many other ways he's been affected but he doesn't see...

I'm glad he has your support in this... I wish I had a way to make the pain go away, but it's going to take time...

Thanks for being there...


#61602 - 05/04/01 11:14 PM Re: desperate

trust me I have been there for my fiance...I took it upon myself to have his latest abuser put behind bars.He is currently serving a 9 month sentence but will be released in July.This has caused panic attacks my fiance is afraid this guy will come back to get him.
I have promised this will not happen. I will personally see to it.I have had my life threatened by this abuser. I never knew such evil people existed.Perhaps I was living in a fantasy world but now I am ready to take people like him on at any cost.It is something I feel I need to do so that noone has to endure the pain and haunting as my fiance and I have had to do.


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