This sounds like something that should definitely be taken up with your husband's T.
What may have happened is that your husband may see sex as something that is only physical gratification and not something shared between two people who love each other. It may be something that brings up old fearful memories and unresolved issues. It really sounds to me like he doesn't trust sex to be a safe fulfilling experience; to him it's more or less what he sees in the porn magazines. He may feel, at some unconscious level, that to have sex with you is to treat you like the women in the magazines are treated.
If even the half of this is true it must be a terrible problem for him. I hope he will get the professional help he will need to deal with this. You sound very understanding, and he's lucky to have your support.
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me. (Woody Guthrie)