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#59749 - 01/18/06 04:40 AM Dan is in jail
susskinsdrew Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/04/06
Posts: 23
Loc: Twin Cities, Minnesota

I just got home from the final hearing in the case against Dan (my son's perpetrator). Finally, no more court proceedings and no more having to see him or his parents.

I was forewarned that he would likely be going home today. In fact, his probation officer wanted the Judge to consider the time he spent in outpatient treatment prior to his inpatient treatment as time spent, therefore not even recommending the standard 6-month outpatient treatment program (upon release), but any treatment decided upon by his parents!

I pleaded with the Judge to stiffen the sentence that he needed to actually PAY for his crimes, not just through being in a lock-up treatment facility, but by being incarcerated. The Judge not only allowed me to speak, but listened as well. It was the same Judge that initially heard the case and she remembered it (and me) and said reading further disclosure by Dan mandated a much harsher sentence and that she would give Dan, " day for each time he confessed to harming that poor little boy." So, that adds up to 90 days. She also told him that he needed to relieve his conscious and tell the other victim's parents about his abuse towards them so that those little boys can get the help they much need and deserve.

I know the County's Victim Advocate (she's supposed to work for ME) was getting tired of my insistence at each hearing to speak. Today, she told me that going against the probation officer's recommendations is almost never done and that he would have gone home if it weren't for me speaking. To put him in jail for 90 days was, in her eyes, unheard of. Still, even though I am very happy that he will spend time in an actual jail (he will be getting treatment while there), it still isn't enough. That is just something I will have to come to terms with in time.

I know that in some fashion, I will forever try to champion victim's rights and campaign for stiffer sex offender sentences, especially as it pertains to juveniles. I feel a small sense of closure here, so perhaps more happiness and more of a sense of "normalcy" will return to our lives.

I am choosing not to allow this to destroy me or my son D, but that doesn't mean there aren't still bad days every now and again. I'm just glad that there are no more hearings to anticipate, which has been a major source of anxiety, sadness and anger.

Thanks again and take care of you and yours.


#59750 - 01/18/06 05:09 AM Re: Dan is in jail
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
you ARE a champion already.

Thanks for speaking up, it means a lot to guys like me.


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

#59751 - 01/18/06 07:01 AM Re: Dan is in jail
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey

You are awesome. Getting through such proceedings must be difficult enough, but to force the system to do what it's supposed to do and to be at odds with those in the system who are supposed to be on your side, has got to be enourmously stressful. You give strength and courage to others who have to go through the same thing to always follow their hearts and do what they know is right.

It could have gone the other way for you, the way the "experts" said it would, but you would not rest until you did the right thing. It paid off and I'm very happy for you and D.

I hope you have a very restful sleep tonight, after a few glasses of celebratory...whatever - you've more than earned it.

ROCK ON.......Trish

If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

#59752 - 01/18/06 07:42 PM Re: Dan is in jail
Zipser Offline

Registered: 05/19/05
Posts: 351
Loc: Connecticut

Thank you so much for the post and thank you for standing up for your son. You are now part of a growing army of people who say "NO MORE" and for that I salute you and D.

I do hope that a civil action against the perp and his enablers is available to you.

Best regards,


"I stand proud that the boy so badly damaged managed to get me this far and I will honor him and myself for being a survivor." - A member

#59753 - 01/18/06 09:26 PM Re: Dan is in jail
reality2k4 Offline

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...

it must have been hell, and that guy needs serious help.

It is very unusual for a judge not to follow guidance from probation, but I hope they can stop him doing it again.

I hope you and your son are getting help too,


Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

#59754 - 01/19/06 12:13 AM Re: Dan is in jail

Registered: 09/23/05
Posts: 178
Well done Susan. You have been through so much and sound so rational, intelligent and calm. You deserve every bit of that happiness and normalcy that is due to you and your son.



#59755 - 01/19/06 07:10 AM Re: Dan is in jail
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

You have fought the good fight: for yourself, for your son, and for all abused kids. Thank you so much.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#59756 - 01/24/06 12:32 PM Re: Dan is in jail
Muldoon Offline

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
Susan glad that the trail is over and Dan got some time in JAIL. You did a good job. It realy makes me mad he only got 90 days that is not long enough.

We will be lobbing at the capital starting in March to get the laws changed. Would like to have you join me for a day or two. You have lots to say that would realy educate the REPS over in ST Paul. Tom

Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

#59757 - 01/25/06 12:52 AM Re: Dan is in jail
susskinsdrew Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/04/06
Posts: 23
Loc: Twin Cities, Minnesota
Absolutely - I'm there! Just tell me when/where and I'll be there. I was pretty excited to hear that Patty Wetterling is considering running with Mike Hatch for Governor.

We would have her ear for sure. Great things could happen if she were in that office!


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