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#5785 - 09/16/02 09:43 PM mental games
angry Offline

Registered: 08/13/02
Posts: 23
I'm realizing now that some of the worst damage of my abuse came from the mental games my abuser and 4 attempted abusers played or tried to play on me. They said stupid things that sounded like routines and seemed like magic tricks that I beleive were designed to make me think that:
Everyone hated me
My parents werent the authority they were
Everyone was listening to me
Everyone was looking at me
He was part of some kind of international conspiracy against me
Everyone knew what I was thinking
Everyone was impersonating me
I was never alone
Everyone was always messing with me
I was to blame for rediculous things like his divorce, and my parents had to move because of me
It was me against the world (him and the world)
Nobody will ever believe anything that doesnt "sound believable"
That if I ever really want someone to believe me to repeat something over and over before saying it outloud
If I bang my head really hard when I feel guilty I'll feel better
If I make fun of myself to people who hate me, they will like me
If I let someone down, it would cheer them up if I hurt myself or did something self depricating

Have any of you guys sucessfully overcome these mental games? It is almost as if he tried to cut my legs of mentally so I couldnt run away. I'm just recovering old memories of this kind of stuff. Does anybody else know of a book that deals with the mental aspects of abuse, the two books I read dont even mention this stuff. After being on this web site for a over month I realize this goes hand in hand with the sexual stuff and that the sexual stuff is only part of the mental abuse. This mental stuff probably has a lot to do with why these guys get killed in prison, because of the toll it takes.

#5786 - 09/18/02 01:49 PM Re: mental games
New to this Offline

Registered: 09/16/02
Posts: 138
Loc: Mississippi
You are already on your way to recovering. Take your list and dispute and dispel each and every one. Remember that all of this things are what your abuser wanted you to be--this was what controlled you and kept you as a victim. They are not what you really are. Dispell the myths and lies and list your positive attributes.Devon

"Knowledge itself is power" Francis Bacon

#5787 - 09/18/02 05:15 PM Re: mental games
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
I'd say they need adding to the list on the "All Lies" post, 'cause that's what they are.

They lie and cheat to us Angry, they do it so well we believe them as well.
But one day we get it figured out, make it today.


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau


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