Maybe that you can mourn and grieve losing your uncle, who sounds like he was your father in the ways that truly matter, is the best tribute you can pay his death with. Maybe his nuturing has made it possible for you to be better able to cope with your issues and his passing now. I know the pain is hard to bear, but it's real, it's life and you are dealing with it. Treasure those nurturing memories and let the love you felt then heal your inner child on your journey through recovery.