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#55519 - 07/26/01 02:09 PM It's here Again

Hello all,
I am so happy to have discovered this site. I posted for the first time recently and was elated that there were respondants. I guess I wanted to be responded to in order to feel I was sane. I was thinking my value was tied to the type of responses I received. Sorta tells something about me. I have been opening up to my stuffed away memories. Always very clear and vivid for me. As I stated in my initial post I have returned to recovery from Alcoholism. Was in Therapy and recovery for 4 yrs in 88-92 then relapsed to alcoholism. I am wide open again now these last 6 months and there it is right there waiting to be explored and healed. I feel, I am once again in a spiritual space in my recovery program but the memories and hurt of the aftereffects just seem to roll over me. I have been out of town for bussiness for three days and could have accomplished the work in one. I was and am just in a numb place. A bit of hopelessness creaps in and I pray and read meditations. My old "ace in the hole" suicide is ever present. I do want to live because there is a spark in me. It has always been there and I have at times know peace.
I feel weak to not just press on and get over it. Be tough. You know I am just worn out with being tough. I am crying, I am so so tired.
Thank You all for being here and letting me know there are loving accepting people out there.


[ 07-26-2001: Message edited by: MichaelW ]

#55520 - 07/26/01 07:31 PM Re: It's here Again
SoCalJohn Offline

Registered: 05/18/01
Posts: 510
Loc: Los Angeles, California

one day at a time works with this stuff too.

just take it as it comes, no need to push any of it, just let it happen, the trick is to keep coming back and keep talking,,,

now where have i heard that before, hmmmm


I asked him about this law he spoke of, he said,,, *watch* he then asked the others to share about their lives,,, the others talked of how things were for them, how things worked in their lives,,, and as they believed, it was so.

#55521 - 07/26/01 08:23 PM Re: It's here Again
michael Joseph Offline

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
I have to agree with John.
Keep comming back.
Keep talking.
Go slow and be gentle with yourself.

Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

#55522 - 07/26/01 09:33 PM Re: It's here Again

Hi, Michael, and welcome back to recovery and healing! I slipped back into sex addiciton for 4 years and finally got back on track recently, as well. It feels GREAT to be back!

I agree completely with socaljohn and michael joseph.

Hope to keep seeing you here.



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