Forgive the format it is off since I just pasted it from my website. What do you guys think I wrote this when I was beening an advocate.

Advocate's a light in the darkness

The first rule in being an Advocate is never getting attached to a client. Never take your work home with you. I knowthat when you do these you are a bad advocate. Why or how do you not care for you client more then 9 to 5? What can make a person that cold that dead to a client? To change their life you must understand their life. You must listen to them and not"try to understand" what they are going through. If you are trying then you are failing them. You must listen with all your heart and soul to understand them. Never say "I know how that is" or "I know" or "I've been there" every client is different.Everything that you or I have gone through is different from one another how could you know what a victim is going through.

The more you read about being an Advocate the less you know. A true Advocate relies on him or her self. We are here to show are clients the doorway not open it for them. I can understand what a thousand victims of D.V. are going through butI most look at each one with new eyes to show them the doorway and to give them back their power.All to often it is easier for an Advocate to open the door and force the client through when they are not ready. Thisis a form of abuse to a client that has already lost their voice, their power. The first step in healing is to find one's ownvoice again. To be able to say "no" or "yes" is the ultimate power that all D.V. victims have lost. I have seen time and again when an advocate forces their client to move faster then the client wants to or should.

Most advocates have a healing cycle in their mind that says you go from step A to step B and so on, but when you are working with a victim you must work attheir pace not at the pace some book or workshop recommends. Our voices are but one thing lost in an abusive relationship, the better we understand that the more knowledge we will gain.When a person takes away any or all of these elements of another persons body, their heart, their soul, their mind, their body, and their voice they have become an abuser.

Not all victims suffer the same, one may loose the control of their body and voice but not loose their mind. They may dream of their escape or they my dream of how they are at fault for everything. One cannot predict the future so why do we believe we know what the victim has or is going through? Is this our vain way of trying to understand what we cannot? Why does one become an abuser and another the victim? What you need to know are the elements behind the abuse.

Copyright 2002-2004 Nathaniel LaChine. All rights reserved.