With a woman, I feel intimidated, I fear and loathe her femininity, but, but, (TRIGGER WARNING) doing you-know-what feels soooo good, the body parts involved completely enjoy it, I just don't like that her parts are attached to...a woman (which to me has a lot of negative connotations).
I understand that both of us were abused by women when we were children. As adults, both of us reject women very strongly. I'm wondering if there might be a relation between your experience and mine.
Interacting with women is also very challenging for me, although probably in a different way. I love women and their feminity and feel an intense sexual desire towards them. I'm very confident when I interact with them. However, as soon as I perceive that a woman is showing sexual interest I get a panic attack and reject her bluntly.
Looks like there are both striking similarities and differences between us in this sense, but I'm not sure of what to make of it.