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#529177 - 11/17/18 10:45 PM Alone on Thanksgiving....
Chris4TheMill Offline


Registered: 05/16/17
Posts: 692
Loc: NY / NJ Area
Due to a combination of circumstances, I will be alone on Thanksgiving this year.
Actually I will be staying at my aunt's house and taking care of her cat while she will be with her son and daughter.

I have mixed feelings about it all. On the one hand, I can entertain myself pretty well, and have plenty I can do.
On the other hand, it feels a bit isolating and wasn't what I thought would be the situation.

Anyone else going to be alone this year? If so, how do you feel about that?

On the other side, if you plan to be with family or friends, how do you feel about that? Would you rather have time alone?

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#529183 - 11/18/18 06:54 AM Re: Alone on Thanksgiving.... [Re: Chris4TheMill]
Banjo596 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/20/13
Posts: 106
Loc: Ohio
I am working alone for 16 hours both Thursday and Friday. I am used to being alone and though isolating, I am also used to that. It's good pay and I am building up towards retirement.


Edited by Banjo596 (11/18/18 06:54 AM)

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#529184 - 11/18/18 06:59 AM Re: Alone on Thanksgiving.... [Re: Chris4TheMill]
Jake3001 Offline


Registered: 11/05/18
Posts: 62
Loc: California
I'm going to be on my own for the first time this year. I don't know how I feel about it, maybe it's for the best as I'm not really in a Thanksgiving-type mood at the moment. It will be nice to have my room to myself, but with everyone gone from my building I'll probably end up barricading my door and hiding in a corner (not even a joke, unfortunately).
_________________________
Jake

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#529286 - 11/21/18 09:31 AM Re: Alone on Thanksgiving.... [Re: Chris4TheMill]
WG Offline


Registered: 09/09/15
Posts: 504
Loc: WA
If I might suggest......if any of you are interested.....there are restaurants that are open that day. When I was a social worker in Chicago (I was sent there for 4 years from the US West Coast), I wound up alone on one Thanksgiving. I walked to a Denny's and spent the $6.00 on a meal. I wasn't required to engage with anyone if I didn't want to, I had a good meal and heard some conversation around me. I didn't feel too alone then. Just a suggestion.........

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#529292 - 11/21/18 12:10 PM Re: Alone on Thanksgiving.... [Re: Chris4TheMill]
Esterio Offline


Registered: 07/11/17
Posts: 540
Loc: south west coast canada bc
Hi Chris4TheMill

This was the 2nd Thanksgiving I have spent alone since my Mom past . Our thanks giving was in October. Thanksgiving in Canada is an important day to lots. I used to end up working most of the time while still at work. Now I don't do much.

I get asked to some of the public meals but don't go. It would be a mine field for me with too many people I don't think it would be fun for me. There is the dilemma I have a hard time to smile it went away a long time ago. I even have new teeth and still can't smile as it is forced. So I have been just staying home on the holidays as I don't want to bring anyone else down.

This year the shelter I have been donating lots of fresh food I have raised and grown have invited me to their Christmas dinner. I am thinking of going but to help out and see where it goes from there. They know I struggle with PTSD and are encouraging me to come out. They have even offered to commend get me if I don't feel like driving. I think it is going to be hard for not to go. They have and answer to all my excuses. I know their hearts are in the right place, I would probably meet so more people to associate with.

I will probable be on line tomorrow if you are feeling like talking I'm here for you.

I am too used to being on my own as I have been isolating for years now, no where's near as bad as I used too. At this time between my doctor and mental health team they are all trying to get me out everyday trying to break me out of this isolation. All but the days I can't drive after medication increase for 24 to 48 hours.

It is a blood pressure medication I am trying to lesson night terrors so far it is looking promising. They are getting less and not as bad. I have had these for 20 years night terror's and panic attacks. I only had one bad one last week. I can tell they where bad as I wake with all my bedding gone sitting in the middle of my bed cold and no memory of what just happened and I track my sleep and I can see the long wake ups.

I hope your Thanksgiving is a good day for you. try to do something nice for yourself.

Take care
Esterio
_________________________
Peace be safe.

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#529351 - 11/23/18 10:38 AM Re: Alone on Thanksgiving.... [Re: Chris4TheMill]
WG Offline


Registered: 09/09/15
Posts: 504
Loc: WA
Esterio - Something I suggested to my clients who struggled with interacting was to volunteer somewhere - I see that you are in contact from time to time with a shelter - excellent. I would take them up on their offer of the Christmas dinner. You can engage as much as you feel comfortable with. I would suggest at least saying something to 2 others before the evening is through. As I believe I told you, I'm in Washington state, just south of you. We take the ferry across to Victoria from time to time since we're that far north in the state. What a lovely Provincial capital you have. Some of the kindest people are there.We were just at the Royal BC Museum for the Pharoahs of Egypt exhibit. Fascinating.
As for the nightmares, some of my clients took Trazedone. Seemed to help and allow them to sleep better and longer.
Just a thought.
We sure do live in a beautiful part of this continent, don't we?

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#529355 - 11/23/18 12:12 PM Re: Alone on Thanksgiving.... [Re: WG]
Esterio Offline


Registered: 07/11/17
Posts: 540
Loc: south west coast canada bc
Thanks WG

I volunteer 2 sometimes 3 afternoons per week for about 3 hours at an residential care facility when I feel up to it. I enjoy it very much. My Mental health team and doctor are trying to keep me busy and break my isolation and social anxiety. I am in a group workshop now totally out of my comfort zone and engage and they are keeping me interested. Things are changing for me some. I am getting better at controlling my emotions out in public I don't get to excited and loud much anymore.

I am thinking very much about going and helping in the back ground some how. December is a hard month I am always relieved when January comes around.

Thanks for your advice it is good advice for me to go. Thanks WG

Take care
Esterio
_________________________
Peace be safe.

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#529374 - 11/23/18 10:55 PM Re: Alone on Thanksgiving.... [Re: Chris4TheMill]
Chris4TheMill Offline


Registered: 05/16/17
Posts: 692
Loc: NY / NJ Area
Hi all,

Thanks for the responses and advice. I ended up not very alone after all, as I spent most of the day on the phone with two friends and two family. The day went pretty quickly, and I cooked and ate while talking on the phone.

Banjo596: Hope you had a decent day and made some good money.

Jake3001: Hope you had a better day than what you were planning.

Esterio: I totally understand how being around lots of people is not exactly your idea of fun. It's not really mine either, I prefer smaller, more relaxed gatherings. Hope you were able to find something enjoyable to do that wasn't too taxing.

WG - Nice to see you back, I haven't said hi yet but I thought I'd take the opportunity now.

Well I have two more days here, then have some medical tests on Monday that i am not looking forward to.
So I am enjoying the weekend while it lasts.

- Chris

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#529417 - 11/24/18 06:24 PM Re: Alone on Thanksgiving.... [Re: Chris4TheMill]
WG Offline


Registered: 09/09/15
Posts: 504
Loc: WA
Hey Chris - and all......my Thanksgiving was good. My oldest child - a daughter - is an operating room RN. She wrangled the 22nd & 23rd off so she and another nurse hosted. This other nurse had her folks and 9 other relatives. I have 4 children and we were all there. Neither one of the families had ever met, so it was a lot of getting to know one another. A lot of interaction. For those of you who don't find that to be their idea of a good time, it would have been the holiday from hell. There was a lot of music of mixed styles and nearly everyone was talking over the music. I think some people in that situation would rather have malaria than sit there and make conversation. I do alright an my children all do, too. My wife prefers the quieter, slower-paced get togethers.
Speaking of my wife - that's the main reason I haven't been around for many months. In April of 2016 she had a stroke. Then needed open heart surgery. Then her Achilles tendon tore from the calf to the heel. We had decided that when we retired we would move into a smaller place (we had a 6 bedroom home). The stroke suddenly changed our lives. We had to retire, I had to find movers, find a different and smaller home, I had to find a realtor and get financing. Coordinating all of that left me quite drained.....and then some. She cannot drive or negotiate stairs. Sometimes I'm her memory. I cook, clean, shop and drive her to her medical appointments. However, to have her and my children all around the table - with numerous faces I didn't know yet, was worth all the noise and loud music.

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