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#52503 - 04/15/04 06:04 AM Re: I have to leave.
Donald D'Haene Offline

Registered: 04/11/04
Posts: 68
Loc: London
I hope you are okay. If you need to communicate please feel free to email me through my web site:
I've been through hell and back in my life but I'm a strong cookie.
You have the weight of the world on your shoulders. I'm sorry you are going through so much pain.

Donald D'Haene

#52504 - 04/15/04 06:11 AM Re: I have to leave.
brian-z Offline

Registered: 07/11/02
Posts: 770
Loc: Western USA
Oh fucking hell, Marc itís not a big deal. The list of people that donít like or trust me is long and growing. I was not hurt or offended. And more then a few people would agree with you, donít worry about it, forgiven and forgotten.

#52505 - 04/15/04 06:51 AM Re: I have to leave.
Andrew Offline
Moderator Emeritus

Registered: 07/25/03
Posts: 1192
Relax Marc. The Nao thing spooked everyone, not just you. And reacting badly or jumping to conclusions doesn't preclude you from getting help here, or just as importantly, giving help. Thank gawd, or I'd have been given the permanent boot long ago! Peace, Andrew

there is no courage without anxiety

#52506 - 04/15/04 08:33 AM Re: I have to leave.
MikeNY Offline

Registered: 03/07/04
Posts: 927
Loc: NY
Marc, please keep in mind, everybody here is sensitive. That is one FACT that we know about each other. We also cannot be biting out tongues when writing things. We know that too. It would only be another mask of duplicity like the one that you talked about in your other post if we did that. Some days, we mistrust each other. It happens. Some days, we even hurt each other, it happens. We are all aware of that. Many times, when it does happen, there may even be no real reason for it happening. It's just a quick conflict between one person lashing out at the same time that the other is hypersensitive. So, relax. Take a breather. Take a few minutes to apologize to the person that you think you may have hurt. Please stay here for all of us. You have been doing a great job with moving forward in your recovery, and you have been helping other people do the same with theirs. Thank you.
\:\) \:\) \:\) \:\)

"Every child asks the questions which hold the answers to the secrets of the universe, WHAT?, and WHY?". --Me

#52507 - 04/15/04 12:59 PM Re: I have to leave.
crisispoint Offline

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts

Remember what you said to me? We're so much stronger with you than without you.

Marc, I'll put it bluntly. I don't want you to leave because in your taking the first steps, you've renewed my hope at a time when hope is pretty Goddamn lacking.

You've repeated advice that I needed to hear. Believe me when I say to you, it's kept me coming back when I was ready to throw this place over.

Marc, take whatever time you need to feel safe, but come on back because we need you here.

I need you here, bro.

Peace and love,


There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

#52508 - 04/15/04 03:01 PM Re: I have to leave.
onlyakid Offline

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1577
Loc: New Jersey
Yeah Marc,
Please stay. We need you here, you have helped many of us, including myself, when we needed encouragement to get back on track. I know your post on how you thought you were schizo, really helped me. Seriously, I was very confused about that and the fact that I found out that it was normal really helped. Now I don't feel like I'm going nuts \:D

I don't want to loose you because some chick who claims to be writing a book wants to hurt us.



"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"

#52509 - 04/15/04 03:29 PM Re: I have to leave.
Brayton Offline

Registered: 10/21/03
Posts: 696
Loc: Minneapolis

I add my voice to those urging you to stay. This is a good place to be.

I had a down day yesterday. I'm afraid I may have posted some stuff in another forum that some people will find offensive. I regret that if it is the case but also know that even if guys don't respond to it, they do listen and support me in my need to express where I am at at any given time.


Sometimes, things just won't work the way we want them to.

#52510 - 04/15/04 06:24 PM Re: I have to leave.
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
MikeNY says it well. There is nothing I could add. Good words Mike--thanks for them.


If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

#52511 - 04/15/04 07:26 PM Re: I have to leave.
outis Offline

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2261
Loc: Maryland USA

Please don't deny yourself our support. Learning how to express feelings and how to solve conflicts constructively is part of the job we all have in our recovery.



"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbrokenÖ"óThe Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

#52512 - 04/15/04 07:28 PM Re: I have to leave.
Don-NY Offline

Registered: 08/06/02
Posts: 546
Loc: Long Island, NY

May I quote your own words from yesterday?

Because I want to see what's on the other side of this pain. Because every damn day I fight, I win. It's my victory over the bastards that killed my spirit. I hear you.

Because for me to give up is to let them win.
So you had a dispute with Brian-Z? Hell, that's almost a rite of passage here. And sorry to give away your secrets Brian, but that means he cares, not so much about what you're saying, but about YOU.

Above, you said this:
I only wish I could have been part.
Oops. Too late Marc. You are a part and that's a fact.

Stay or go, for a while, or forever, you're a part.

Leosha said this once (not an exact quote!):

True friendship is always having a reason to say "I'm sorry", but never having to.
But you have said you're sorry, and how much "truer" can one get?

And now for the cheap shot!!

You will hurt us more by leaving for these reasons.

We'll get over it but will you? Aren't you hurting yourself again by cutting yourself off? Isn't that handing them another easy win?

This place is a way station on our journey. It's easy to get consumed by it but that levels off.
We have here a great laboratory for learning how to deal with and understand all sorts of things including other people.

I hope you stay. You've contributed much in your short time here.

Don't think it's all sunshine and lollipops right now, because it isn't. But the sun is out and so am I!

I guess the lollipops come later.
Stay for the lollipops, Marc.

If you understand everything, some things are just as they are. If you understand nothing, things are still just as they are.

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