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#524084 - 05/29/18 03:55 PM How to Stop
wreckage Offline

Registered: 05/15/17
Posts: 215
Loc: N. California
Could someone give me a suggestion on how to stop watching porn? Please no religious websites. Thank you.

#524087 - 05/29/18 04:58 PM Re: How to Stop [Re: wreckage]
Tom E. Offline

Registered: 01/08/17
Posts: 641
Loc: FL
hi wreckage
maybe say to yourself, "no, not today", & switch to something else. Or, turn off computer & do something else; go for a walk, ride a bike, talk to a friend, read a book, watch tv, anyything else!

#524089 - 05/29/18 05:09 PM Re: How to Stop [Re: wreckage]
Ceremony Offline

Registered: 09/14/16
Posts: 2977
Loc: Minnesota
I want to support you with what's your hope for yourself.

I'm thinking I'll struggle with this concern, owing to the type I might watch. In this scenario, I suppose it's a bottom line for you, and that's that?

To me, if I could go back in time, and read a playboy; that would do the trick. I am referring to taking care of business when that's important. I'm reluctant to trigger anyone, so to me, word choice is important, and has nothing to do with being unable to write mention pleasuring oneself.

I think triggering has a lot to do with this topic, It's why I am considering what to say with too much care. If someone blurts their post out in their manner... I do think others needs may go unmet.

All that noted, I don't have a bad opinion about the kind of porn I watch. I do however, know there's way too much I refuse to watch, because, if it's seeming exploitive, aggressive, and even harming, I'll be triggered. I'll be very angry, for anything.

The only time I've successfully stopped something, which are pot smoking and drinking, was getting help. I had to find a good group, do some work that is the 12 steps, keep going at it, and add therapy. I think therapy back when I sobered was not useful to me, but in a very small way, it was support and someone to listen to me.

I think todays therapists will have much better training to help with something that has seemed in the way of personal growth. Then, money, time, and location come into play. Do those align, allowing one to find a good therapist where one lives, and is affordable, with a flexible schedule?

I think sex therapists might be Ok, if they also have a good grasp of trauma therapy. In my opinion, the overlap is too important to seek a sex therapist alone.

Anything useful?

#524101 - 05/30/18 12:57 AM Re: How to Stop [Re: wreckage]
Napoleon Offline

Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 249
Loc: Utah
Fortunate or unfortunate I don't look at real porn too much. Being used to make hard porn so young, I prefer soft porn. A picture of someone in their underwear will turn me on more than a nude picture.

You are dealing with an addiction. Porn allows you to reach climax or reward with little effort and live out "fantasies" that you otherwise might not be able to. I would suggest trying not to climax to porn even you look. Eventually the lack of positive reward at the end will reduce the addiction. You may also want to try give yourself a negative outcome at the end. This is generally twice as effective at changing behavior. Buy some ammonia tablets and sniff one at the end, then take a cold shower.

Alternatively you may want to give yourself a break. As abuse victims we don't always crave the touch of others. Porn allows us to experience sex solitaire or alone... without touch... and without the fear of being taken advantage of. Humans in general tend to try to seek out healthy mates. This may the extent our sex lives, even non-sexual's need the release, it is part of being alive. Billions of years of evolution shaped life, and we like our ancestors (most of which were not human) are programmed to reproduce and survive, not much else.
�Your only limit within reason, is the one that you set up in your own mind.� Napoleon Hill, The Law of Success, 1925.

#524104 - 05/30/18 09:05 AM Re: How to Stop [Re: wreckage]
Hadrian Offline

Registered: 05/24/18
Posts: 29
Loc: North Florida
Hi wreckage,

So I hope this isn’t a stupid question, but are you seeing a therapist that you could talk to about wanting to stop watching it? I don’t want to assume that you are seeing one, but if so then this would seem like a good plan that maybe you haven’t thought of because maybe you subconsciously want to protect your addiction?

#524114 - 05/30/18 02:22 PM Re: How to Stop [Re: Hadrian]
wreckage Offline

Registered: 05/15/17
Posts: 215
Loc: N. California
Thank you all for your suggestions. I will try to alter my behavior by trying to employ them.

The support that I get from this forum is invaluable.


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