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#523799 - 05/17/18 05:37 PM How to Stop Acting Out?
wreckage Offline

Registered: 05/15/17
Posts: 215
Loc: N. California
Does anybody have any suggestions for not acting out. Lately I have been triggered by the smallest things and that leads to acting out- after which I feel like crap (shame and guilt). Trying to break this cycle. Any suggestions?

#523800 - 05/17/18 06:10 PM Re: How to Stop Acting Out? [Re: wreckage]
Ceremony Offline

Registered: 09/14/16
Posts: 2977
Loc: Minnesota
I want to believe I do know suggestions; my life has also been rife with excess anger, and poor choices. I used to drink it off, or have a spleef. When I sobered 18 years ago, at 38, I lost that release.

I know removing myself from the situation was an immediate fix for me. But, sometimes that's very difficult? I also turn off, I stop, won't interact and force the situation to defer to my need to de-escalate. That's not always what happens, but it's gotten easier with age.

I know some people put a sort of object to hold to remind calm. A smallish, pocket sized object. I keep a stress ball in my car. I have a thing in my pocket too.

Role play or writing it all after it occurred also had helped. I have and still do hsve pocket notebooks, the black binding, cardboard cover kind, but shirt pocket size. I've filled a dozen, probably more?

#523818 - 05/18/18 11:11 AM Re: How to Stop Acting Out? [Re: Ceremony]
wreckage Offline

Registered: 05/15/17
Posts: 215
Loc: N. California

Thank you so much for the concrete suggestions! I too would bury things with substances. It's funny you mention stress ball. I have one in my car but never use it. Maybe I should begin.

Thanks again.

#524061 - 05/28/18 03:45 PM Re: How to Stop Acting Out? [Re: wreckage]
CafeMan Offline

Registered: 03/18/13
Posts: 176
Loc: Chicago
When I get the urge to act out, I go to a room where no one can hear me, and I talk to myself. I'll say in a forceful way, "No, dont even try it or think it!" It's almost like the adult self is directing the whimsical younger self what to do. Then I say after my feelings simmer down..."Good, you may not have won the war yet, but you won today's battle."

As a sidenote, I have been working a lot, so that makes me tired and less interested in doing things on my free time. Do I find these strategies enriching? No, but I take it day by day. It's all I can do.

#524064 - 05/29/18 02:48 AM Re: How to Stop Acting Out? [Re: wreckage]
Tom E. Offline

Registered: 01/08/17
Posts: 641
Loc: FL
Hi wreckage
when you catch yourself about to act out, say to yourself, no!
Not today! Maybe that will help.
I act out in weird ways too. Sometimes I give in to it too
by saying out loud negative stuff to myself, beating myself up verbally, or reliving in my mind negative things I did or said,
or telling an imaginary guy in the room to to rape me or f-ck me.
It's sad & messed up I know. Unfortunately it feels more normal
than saying or imagining positive things about myself.


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