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#523810 - 05/18/18 08:49 AM The boy inside me
flying Offline


Registered: 03/31/18
Posts: 41
Loc: Ohio
There is a boy inside me who is ashamed, afraid, feels gross, responsible for everything, and who is confused. I want to give him a hug and tell him I love him, and that he didn't do anything wrong. That he is a good kid, and he is beautiful. That the people who stole his sexuality are the ones who did something wrong, not him. I am sharing this because when I am depressed I feel like this boy.

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#523811 - 05/18/18 08:56 AM Re: The boy inside me [Re: flying]
Ceremony Offline
Greeter

Registered: 09/14/16
Posts: 2689
Loc: Minnesota
I want to share calm, and sad tears of validation. I get this, having worked very hard to do what you're posting.

A kind of self care, I began to understand in therapy, with lots of guidance.

About a year into it, and I get my inner child more. The effects to me the adult.

Best wishes!

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#523815 - 05/18/18 10:47 AM Re: The boy inside me [Re: flying]
Esterio Offline


Registered: 07/11/17
Posts: 365
Loc: south west coast canada bc
Hi flying
Welcome to MS. I hope you find what you need here.

Yes the little boy inside needs a safe hug. He needs to know that what he is feeling belongs to his perpetrator. That little boy's not responsible for what happened. He also needs to know that he is not alone it this. It is very hard for the little boy in us to understand what happened and how it has destroyed our lives. I didn't even know it was abuse for 6 years or so. I had no idea about sex and sexuality as I was just a little boy.

Be kind to yourself
Esterio
_________________________
Peace be safe.

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#523817 - 05/18/18 11:08 AM Re: The boy inside me [Re: flying]
Bluedogone Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/03/13
Posts: 1273
Loc: Southern US
Hey flying,

My greatest intensive round of therapy, which was several years ago, didn't include an inner child scenario so I don't relate to that concept.

However, it's understandable that feelings of depression, shame, fear and gross out simply have to be dealt with, and I'm glad you are able to connect in this way. Depression is an awesome and oppressive enemy, and any weapon we have available should be used to fight it.

We have nothing to be ashamed of, the people who stole our sexuality are the guilty ones and should carry the guilt. Unfortunately, most of the time, the guilty ones have long since moved on and left us with the emotional baggage to deal with. It's important, and thank you for the reminder that whatever works for us in our struggles with depression and other trauma from CSA is available.

Blue
_________________________
When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure. - Peter Marshall

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#523819 - 05/18/18 11:29 AM Re: The boy inside me [Re: flying]
flying Offline


Registered: 03/31/18
Posts: 41
Loc: Ohio
Thanks you guys. I will have more to add when I have more time

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#523821 - 05/18/18 12:32 PM Re: The boy inside me [Re: flying]
flying Offline


Registered: 03/31/18
Posts: 41
Loc: Ohio
Depression distorts reality, but it makes me think it is reality. I'm battling it today.

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#523827 - 05/18/18 02:38 PM Re: The boy inside me [Re: flying]
Sterling Offline


Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 2158
Loc: Winnipeg, Manitoba,Canada
you're doing a great job flying .

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#523850 - 05/19/18 11:59 AM Re: The boy inside me [Re: flying]
flying Offline


Registered: 03/31/18
Posts: 41
Loc: Ohio
Thanks, Sterling.

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#523867 - 05/19/18 07:18 PM Re: The boy inside me [Re: flying]
Long Way Home Offline


Registered: 01/12/18
Posts: 8
Loc: GA
I sure wish I had gotten a real hug every once in a while. I never got touched, held, nothing.

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#523954 - 05/22/18 08:25 PM Re: The boy inside me [Re: flying]
UniversalBeing Offline


Registered: 09/15/17
Posts: 116
I am just now allowing myself to do inner child work on my own. Sometimes, I think I am wallowing in self-pity but it is grief and sadness that I am releasing and it feels better afterward. It took me few years to start feeling comfortable to do inner child work. Now, I am allowing myself to do it and it is starting to feel better. There is a lot that needs to be healed. My whole artistic identity was killed, murdered by my jealous and hateful mother but now I can recover it. Also elementary school bullies. By engaging with that wounded inner child I get to heal the artist and the child. Ignoring it just made me act out. Keep doing the work.
_________________________
My journey:

www.universalbeing.me

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#524041 - 05/27/18 03:43 PM Re: The boy inside me [Re: Long Way Home]
tbkkfile Offline


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 421
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
((((Long Way Home))))

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#524042 - 05/27/18 05:32 PM Re: The boy inside me [Re: flying]
Bluedogone Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/03/13
Posts: 1273
Loc: Southern US
Not an actual one. But pretty damn close.

{{{{{Long Way Home}}}}}
_________________________
When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure. - Peter Marshall

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