I get into some of arguement with a friend yesterday, because I was saying that some of the 'choices' we make being survivors are not so much as 'choice', but what we do because what we learned. It is not that I am saying we are not responsible or have to be held for account of what we do when we do wrong things. But that some things, like coping ways or even sometime acting out things, they are not so much chioce, but affect of what is done before. (I do not know I am making sense of what I am trying to say).
My friend say that he is responsible for things he done when he is teenager, that it is choices he make because he make them, he do not see it is just he is doing same thigns he learn as child. And he say, that is stupid, and that he must choose it, because abuse of child is not abuse of adult, and he still not stop it as adult until now, because person who abuse him, try again even this year.
I do not know sure how to ask, or what to ask. But, if someone is abused by a person since they are very small child, don't it seem that even as grownup, that there is power of abuser on them, and abuse still can continue? If it is sstill same person, isn't it still abuse? My friend, I think he do not want to think this person harm him so much as it did, and think if it is his own fault, then it is some better? I am not sure, I do not understand. Just because you are older and bigger, it do not mean it is not the same thign it always was. I am confused.