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#514882 - 08/21/17 12:55 AM recovery for me..
Tom E. Offline


Registered: 01/08/17
Posts: 631
Loc: FL
As I am in a 12-step recovery program, my recovery will mean accepting my aging body, as it is (I'm 64 y.o.); I'll try to keep it going & healthy as I can. My spiritual life is an ongoing, evolving process that I hope deepens & connects with "a power greater than myself".
The most difficult part of recovery is my mind, my emotions, by mental process, my outlook on life "on life's terms". Acceptance on this level is a definite challenge. Acceptance of my depression, but working on it to improve and hopefully be more positive. Acceptance of my limitations and my perceived past failures. And the big one; acceptance of my past sexual experiences with men & women, acceptance of my childhood sex abuse & bullying, & acceptance of the adult assaults on me and descending into drunken, wasted promiscuity drugs, self hatred, etc. I'll try to purge myself, as much as possible, of my regrets and resentments of all this past "goop" & move on with living in the present, and not worrying about the future either. I must make amends where I was at fault, for my part in it all, and get to a place of forgiveness of myself & forgiveness of all others who harmed me also.. my abusers and bullies. I must really realize that they were really sick too. Then, maybe, hopefully, my life will be lighter, calmer, more serene, happier, and I'll stop being so wrapped up in my self-centered, self-pitying, negative thoughts & think about what I can do to help others in recovery get free of their shit piles too.

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#514883 - 08/21/17 02:53 AM Re: recovery for me.. [Re: Tom E.]
Harry Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/09/01
Posts: 160
Loc: California
Keep fighting the good fight, Tom.
_________________________
In the name of the Anger, and of the Sadness, and of the Unholy Fear. Amen.

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#514888 - 08/21/17 07:01 AM Re: recovery for me.. [Re: Tom E.]
Chris4TheMill Offline


Registered: 05/16/17
Posts: 673
Loc: NY / NJ Area
Tom,

Acceptance is the hardest part of it all...and also the path to peace when you can get there. I asked my therapist last week if we ever really get to acceptance and stay there, because I find that I seem to get there with certain issues, but then I seem to go back a few steps. He said it is normal to dip into it but then sort of walk around it and circle it a few times, then go back to it, etc. I am not sure I totally get that yet but it made some sense at the time given my experiences.

I feel like I have accepted many things for the most part but you mentioned some that I have to be the harder ones - like my limitations, physical body issues, etc. It's always the thought of "life would be easier IF...."

But ultimately I have to accept that the "IF" just is not part of the plan for me right now, or maybe even ever. It's hard but I find it does get better as we can eventually let go and accept things as they are and were, while also trying to improve what we can improve.

Also, it is never too late to start a new journey. We may or may not be able to reach the destination that we think we should reach on that journey, but I find the journey is more important and not so much the destination. That seems to be part of acceptance as well, accepting the journey and not holding on tightly to the idea of a particular destination. However, I am still working on that one....:). Sounds like you are going in the right direction, I wish you well.

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