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#512564 - 06/25/17 03:57 PM Emotional empathy versus compassion empathy
Mishka95673 Offline


Registered: 01/03/15
Posts: 351
.


Edited by Mishka95673 (06/28/17 03:02 AM)

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#512589 - 06/26/17 08:02 AM deleted [Re: Mishka95673]
HealingHope Offline


Registered: 08/24/15
Posts: 312



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#512591 - 06/26/17 09:07 AM Re: Emotional empathy versus compassion empathy [Re: Mishka95673]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2711
Loc: durham, north england
I don't know, I respect the perspective, but I am uncertain on it's clarity.

I remember in one discussion with a friend of mine who is a professional rogerian councillor I once asked her what she did about her not responding to clients.
She replied that she did! respond emotionally to clients, but she was in a remove where she could explain things.

indeed it would quite often happen that when we were talking, given that she was one of the people I could! talk to about abuse, she would sometimes say "that makes me quite angry" or "that makes me upset"

When I apologised, she was quite blunt on the subject.

"You! don't need to apologise, I'm just letting you know how I'm feeling. Your not responsible for how I'm feeling, that is to do with me and my history not yours"

This is actually an approach I've found myself following with my lady fairly often when sharing details of her past, I'll realize I'm feeling something and explain it rather than just reacting.

I don't think in this case it's a question though of empathy, so much as how feelings are expressed and what comes from them.

A constant problem with my mum is that frequently I'd get proposed solutions, even when I wasn't necessarily looking! for a solution, where my lady tends to react and be more honest about her reactions, which makes me want to try to do the same.

Then again all of this is really musing on my part, ---- after all definition of ethical terms and a philosophy graduate is rather like red rag and bull laugh.

Luke.

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#512593 - 06/26/17 09:56 AM deleted [Re: Mishka95673]
HealingHope Offline


Registered: 08/24/15
Posts: 312

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#512625 - 06/26/17 10:09 PM Re: Emotional empathy versus compassion empathy [Re: Mishka95673]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2711
Loc: durham, north england
Well Hh, I can't take credit for that one, that is one way in which my friend is quite wise.
I'll always be greatful to her since she was the one person I spoke to after that horrible day in 2007 when everything crashed, when my parents answer was "give it time" and "it'll come" and most of my friends didn't know what to say who just listened, one reason I always remember her advice, albeit I will be the first to admit I'm not always able to follow it as I should, especially with patterns related to my abuse.

I have speculated a lot on the difference between compassion and empathy, since I know people who are one and not the other.
My brother for example is extremely! compassionate, butt is very unempathic.

I am rather the other way around.
I'd say myself it's what we do! with the empathy that matters, how it is expressed, not the empathy itself that is a problem.

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#512628 - 06/26/17 10:33 PM Re: Emotional empathy versus compassion empathy [Re: Mishka95673]
Mishka95673 Offline


Registered: 01/03/15
Posts: 351
.


Edited by Mishka95673 (06/28/17 03:02 AM)

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#512646 - 06/27/17 11:28 AM Re: Emotional empathy versus compassion empathy [Re: Mishka95673]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2711
Loc: durham, north england
It is true that for health professionals there is a need to keep some emotional distance between yourself and interactions with clients, heck, sometimes when i read stories on this board I find a need to do that myself.

But I am not sure if that is to do with a change in empathy, or finding a way to deal! with what happens with said empathy.

My lady was refused a councilling position at one point since she was told she was too vulnerable (I and she suspect it was more to do with being too disabled but there you go).

I can see a little logic to this, since for someone who tends to be extremely gentle by nature she really can get venomously irate about the suffering of others, her reactions about my abuse have actually surprised me, since I! tend to be the one who is fairly relaxed on the subject where she tends to get vicious. Yet, she finishes with these things very! quickly and can put them behind her afterwards, it's actually one of the things I admire about her since she is far less prone to linger with anger or negativity of any sort, and usually said anger and negativity are on behalf of others.

Luke.

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#512647 - 06/27/17 12:07 PM deleted [Re: Mishka95673]
HealingHope Offline


Registered: 08/24/15
Posts: 312

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#512690 - 06/28/17 02:36 AM Re: Emotional empathy versus compassion empathy [Re: Mishka95673]
Mishka95673 Offline


Registered: 01/03/15
Posts: 351
.


Edited by Mishka95673 (06/28/17 03:03 AM)

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#512705 - 06/28/17 11:32 AM Re: Emotional empathy versus compassion empathy [Re: Mishka95673]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2711
Loc: durham, north england
@Mishka, Please don't feel my disagreement with the video or what you have said here was personal. Your certainly right that there is a position where getting too swept up in another's feelings can be a less good thing.
I will also confess that as I said, as a philosophy graduate, and more specifically an ethicist who has read a great deal on empathy this is actually the sort of discussion I just find interesting in and of itself, indeed thank you for bringing this up.

So I hope you don't get the idea that I am attempting to be dismissive of the point hereor not valuing what your saying, I just enjoy comparing notes on this sort of thing laugh.



@Hh, "compassionate listening" does seem to be the in thing in health professions at the moment.
My mum has been a physio therapist (particularly dealing with babies and children), for fourty years and once expressed it extremely well.
She had an entire three hours on "mindfulness" and how people should "be mindful of a parents' feelings when a parent loses a child" which asked professionals to "express themselves through body gestures", and "breathe mindfully" and "imagine what a parent is feeling! and try to express that feeling in a positive way!"

My mum's rather caustic comment was "most parents who just lose a child express their feelings through the medium of swearing, ---- and of course they do! they've just lost a child, what do you expect them to say! All you can do is sit there, let them swear at you, let them know your sorry since sorry is what your feeling, go and have a cry and move on!"

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