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#511832 - 06/09/17 11:38 AM Re: What I would say to my 5 year old self [Re: dac]
dac Offline

Registered: 05/15/17
Posts: 95
Loc: OR
Zappafan and WG thank you for those touching and heartfelt posts. For me this was such a meaningful exercise. I'm glad my therapist suggested it. Ceremony thank you for contributing and offering your perspective, which is always valued.

#511843 - 06/09/17 11:16 PM Re: What I would say to my 5 year old self [Re: dac]
gettingstronger Offline

Registered: 09/24/13
Posts: 323
Loc: Virginia
Amazing, incredible work, gentlemen.

I'd tell my little boy that one day, everything he's been keeping bottled up can be released. The people who are hurting him will one day move away, die or stop doing what they've been doing. It won't go on forever.

Will any of them ever be held accountable? No. He's going to have to heal without the benefit of seeing any of them punished in any way, and at least two of them will probably never know either what they did or what they allowed to happen. He'll actually be ok with this, as by the time it truly matters, he'll have the wisdom to know it would be far more destructive to them than it would benefit him.

I'd also tell him that truly, nothing was his fault. One day, something called ADD and another something called Asperger's will be things doctors help children with, and so will a disorder that makes you feel sad when it's cold and gloomy outside. Be patient, little one, and one day, you can find people who know about these things and know how to help kids like you. Yes, you're different. But one day, you'll be able to appreciate how different you are from the others, and it won't be as shameful as you feel right now.

Finally, I'd tell that little boy that his healing isn't going to come from family or friends. It will come largely from friends he meets who've gone through the same things, and he'll meet them through something really cool that hasn't been invented yet. (The internet). So be patient, little one. It will take a VERY, VERY long time to come to grips with what life is like right now, and sadly, the bad things are going to keep happening for another ten years. But one day they'll stop, and when the time is right, you'll start to heal.

Edited by gettingstronger (06/09/17 11:22 PM)

#511844 - 06/09/17 11:30 PM Re: What I would say to my 5 year old self [Re: dac]
dac Offline

Registered: 05/15/17
Posts: 95
Loc: OR
Thank you, gettingstronger, that was beautiful.

#511860 - 06/10/17 06:01 PM Re: What I would say to my 5 year old self [Re: dac]
WG Offline

Registered: 09/09/15
Posts: 540
Loc: WA
Hi Ceremony - I'm not at all offended. Possibly what I meant wasn't stated as well as it could have been: What I had wanted to mean was that my younger self knew he was a boy and that he would grow into an adult one day - and that adult would be a guy not a gal. A woman was Mom. A guy was Dad. I do show emotion, too. I can cry easily - as was stated in the forum "Did You Ever Cry?" or something like that......anyway, no, I'm not offended. I do get emotional - I saw my T this morning and really lost it - wept for a few minutes over what we were talking about.
It all takes time, as you well know, Ceremony - be kind to yourself. Yes, hating yourself will take a lot of effort to overcome - and one day I hope you do. You deserve it.

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