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#50902 - 05/27/05 08:55 PM My worst triggers
ForeverFighting Offline

Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 1253
Loc: New Mexico, USA
I wondered if it would be helpful to have a thread about the "normal" everday things that trigger us into emotional wrecks. There are some things that just freak me out.

Things that trigger me and make me want to get out:

Doctors (don't even get me started on physicals)Men bigger than I am
Feeling anyone's breath, "breathing someone else's air"
Smells, like bad breath or body odor
A man giving me a complement of any kind
A warm chair
If my shirt feels too tight
People standing or sitting too close
Men who act fake, like they're trying to "reach me"
Getting a haircut from somebody who I think doesn't want to do it
Men who talk down to me
Hairs in a bathroom
Feeling scared like on amusement park rides or in traffic
Hairy men
People who seem out of control
Hearing somebody chewing
The wind outside makes me small again, especially if the trees are moving.

Just writing that list is enough to make me want to jump out the window. Looking at it, though, it speaks a lot about the man who SA me and the experience. Now if I can only connect today's triggers with what happened then so I can actually ride a roller coaster without completely dissociating for two hours afterwards. Gotta go calm down now.

If you think it would help, what triggers you? And have you found any way to deal with them so you don't lose it?

"This search for the truth--it's not for the faint of heart."--Goren on 'Law & Order: CI'
"The former things will not be called to mind, nor will they come up into the heart."--Isaiah 65:17

#50903 - 05/27/05 09:22 PM Re: My worst triggers
demonboi Offline

Registered: 05/14/05
Posts: 228
Loc: East Coast
Any grown adult guy who looks really sketchy and scary.

someone touching my sholder or back those livestrong bands?

loud noises, angry voices

the dark, shadows that move ie, trees

oi, lots but thats all for now.

when i get scared in the dark and out in public i do some breathing exercises to try and calm down. sometimes they help if im not too far gone. my tigger helps me at night, i guess one day ill have to grow out of him but for now its good.

Every corner, every city
There's a place where life's a little easy
Little Hennessy, laid back and cool
Every hour, cause it's all good
Leave all the stress from the world outside
Every wrong done will be alright
Nothin but peace, love
And street passion, every ghetto needs a thug mansion

#50904 - 05/28/05 12:05 AM Re: My worst triggers
eyesopen Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 05/26/05
Posts: 10
Loc: New England
Someone that creeps up behind me - can't wear headphones, or even cut the lawn w/o looking behind me every now and then.

Someone that triggers my PTSD rage. It takes an unbelievable amount to get me over the edge now (only twice in 24 years), but when I go...

Someone that wears certain clothes and behaves in a certain fashion - I won't describe to keep everyone safe, but, the triggering is intense, and usually ends up in a lot of cutting - just mental now.

Lots of other stuff - some on the earlier lists, that does not trigger me anymore.

The answers:

1. time - 37 years since the last episode. it has a way of dulling even the strongest emotions, not so helpful I know, but true for me in many cases.

2. sports/gym - it solved a lot of my issues because my capabilites increased beyond most men, so I could relax in a lot of cases.

3. something to be busy with - career, family, friends, etc. If you give your time to others, you have less time to obsess about the past.

4. forgiveness - through meditation, through "radical acceptance". The only thing that has really taken the past out of my present. I remember it all, but very little of it still quickens my heartbeat, and even the worst of it, is not so bad as it was.

Hope something helped someone.


Only in growth, reform, and change paradoxically enough, is true security to be found.

- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

#50905 - 05/28/05 01:03 AM Re: My worst triggers
reality2k4 Offline

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Being squashed in a lift with men
Body odours
People who just think they know me
People who call me a different name
Anyone who is loud
People who dont drive with care
Wearing shorts, not a trigger but i dont do it
Watching news
I dont watch TV at all
Anyone who throws their weight around
They dont throw it around me no more \:D
People who look through me
Public transport at night
People who call me Sir

Whoa, the list is endless,


Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

#50906 - 05/28/05 05:55 AM Re: My worst triggers
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1986
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Steam locomotive whistles - at least this isn't too common in this day and age, never mind my employer owns a couple (luckily not at my work station)56. :rolleyes: Now if they would get rid of that train whistle audible in the chat room. For that, I keep the volume turned off while I am in chat.

Sitting on or seeing someone sitting on a firetruck - I don't sit on fire trucks, I don't have any reason to and I don't "rubber neck" fires.

Heights - I avoid looking out windows above the first floor. I stay as far away from the ledge as possible and stand as far from windows as possible. This is the tough one for me and is going to take a lot of work to get through, but I will.

My boss using the lavatory at the same time I am - I try to use the single lavatory rather than the multiuser one at work if possible. If he's in there I

Party (liquor) stores - doing incredible better with this one now. I did just turn around and walk out of the ones that "freaked" me out. Now I can use them even if they are a bit triggering.

Sudden movements by large women in my peripheral vision (sorry, PA related rather than SA) - duck and run. I don't know how many filing cabinets I've ran into. I remind myself that is the chief engineer or someone else and not my ex-wife.

For any and all of them - remind myself I am not there anymore and I am in a safe place now. They can't hurt me anymore. I keep working on my coping skills. They do work and you can't have too many. I journal, if I had a flashback I write what it was and what was happening when it started.

Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

#50907 - 05/31/05 09:42 AM Re: My worst triggers
24yearsandcounting Offline

Registered: 11/05/04
Posts: 44
seeing little boys at about the age of 2 or 3 was painful for a while. I'm all grown up now, but it can be sad to see something so small and helpless and remember what I went through. Seeing a old picture of myself just after the abuse was stirrning. They thought I was tired, but I was reeling in pain as my grandpa held me. He wanted the picture for posterity, my mom told him the white kids in the villege did this to me. True they may have given my brother a hard time, but this was alcohol induced abuse. The white people did and probably still do give my people a hard time up there, but that is another thread for another website. I'm pretty sure my mom was molested when she was taken to a boarding school when she was a kid. Many students were. She wasn't angry, alcoholic, violent for nothing.
sketchy people
overhearing conversations, now that I think about it, I overheard my aunt talking to my mom before their conversation made her angry at me enough to got violent. I've felt conflicted about that in particular. I felt stupid for listening to her when I shouldn't have like any other good dis-obedient 3 year old, but I guess I was afraid of her not to get out of bed.
alcoholism, never got use to beer. Always hated the smell of it. Tried it once or twice as a adult and never liked it. Wine, I could probably do if it is any good wine, but I'll never be drunk, I'll never drink, -it's a waste, it's expensive, it's bad for you, on and on. Much as I hate to think of it like this, alcohol may be one reason why I am alive. If my parents didn't drink they might have planned their relationship or not, instead of having a kid, then a couple more (me). early on my dad told me we weren't planned. They sure treated us like we were mistakes. I'll never do that to any kid I personally bring into this world. One of these days when I am having sex with my future wife, it will be to have kids, (as well as inimacy of course)
drug use -I see it more as a annoyance then a trigger. I've known people who get high, I've seen people stoned etc, it's not a trigger for me as much as a generally offensive.
ambiguity. In some cases, good clean fun (flirting), in other cases, a means to thinly disguise what is going on. triggers a irritable response, that may shorten the threashold of crap I will put up with before I move on.
being taken advantage of. The molesting of children to abusing authority on natives, I find them both grievous evils in my life. I'm not talking a couple hundred years ago somewhere, I'm talking yesterday, things I would perceive as a abuse of power to non-whites. I think it's a white, non-white thing, but it could very well just be a culture thing. Either way what incredulity I suppose is going on is non the less wrong.
Over hearing people laughing. Kinda like the time I walked in on my sister and my dad having a moment. They wanted me to call her mom. I left pissed saying, she is my sister. I remember how and when things went south. I suspected something was up, and overtime got to know that for a fact. She was acting weird once, and I should have known why, but it had been some years, and I was actually dupped for a while by their deception. The moment I no longer forgot was when I read her diary. I recently started a 'crap pad' of things I should keep track of. If you don't you just might forget something important.
People that dress up evil as good, or try to say "turn your frown upside down". I like not confusing good w/ evil.
I've brought up several points that have seemingly nothing to do w/ male surviving. To me it is just surviving, not a male abuse thing or etc. I've adapted what i've learned from suffering other abuses to non-related abuses. What works for one aplies to another.



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